Lypophrenia《Yizhan version》

Chapter 9

Hi, Zhan Zhan or Zhan ge whatever you prefer; of course, or should I already been calling you Xiao Zhan, or maybe mister Xiao, hehe anyways,

Yibo here.

Yeah, Wang Yibo, as in the boy who left you behind (I hope you aren't too mad about it), and hopefully, you end up reading this note on time.

I'm sorry if you read this note because there are two options left.

1) I left the town without saying anything or which brings us to point two of the list.

2) I am still beside you, and I hope it is this case, and if it turns out to be this case, I would suggest you to not read this note, but if it turns out to be the first situation, then please, first of all, take a deep breath and hope you will forgive me after this long letter.

Oh gosh, I'm already emotional just by the thought of leaving you, but I guess things need to be said.

Zhan, did you ever question who I was? Where did I come from? What was my purpose?

I guess you never questioned these things, or maybe you did, but you ended up not asking them; although I don't bite Zhan, you could've just asked it.

Maybe you have thought about some alternatives why I left, first of all, I did not leave you because you were boring or anything near that, sadly was I neither a tourist in your town which I would love to.

But back to the point like I once told you, my mom had passed away a few years ago, which still feels like yesterday; what I did not mention was that my father had left us at my birth and took away my brother from my mother and me.

Please don't feel sorry for me if you do, but maybe you don't.

After all, we are on the same boat; I could relate to you so intensely when I discovered why you tried to end your own life that I decided that I would help you.

I somewhat felt good to be an orphan because I was not the only one, and at least someone was looking out for us, and I even made some friends, not as close as you, though they still counted as friends.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could have seen it coming, yet I refused to believe it; you might be questioning right now what I am talking about, but I'm an orphanage after my mom died.

And yes, that's one of the main reasons I left without saying goodbye.

I didn't want to leave you, so I tried to hide the fact, I was parentless and might get adopted any moment. I even thought I could maybe stay with you until a lovely couple came by, who wanted to adopt a boy around my age because they couldn't get children themselves.

That day, I promise, I tried to hide away so that I would be in no possible way is chosen. Sadly they found me and ended up signing the adoption papers.

At that moment, I truly realized how time was fastly ticking away, and with the seconds that went by, I would be faster separated from you.

In the past, I made a rule for myself to never ever let someone close inside my heart because someday they would move away, or I would be the one leaving them.

Sadly when I met you, I broke the promise to myself, and for the first time, I do not regret anything.

I will forever treasure our memories inside my mind, although now we come to a point about you, you're suffering Anterograde amnesia, don't you?

Your father already warned me not to break your heart, or he would break my soul.

Owh, and I never told you, but your father is nice, and he does care for you, so give him a peck on his cheek and tell him you love him whenever needed.

I know about the fact of anterograde amnesia because my mother was suffering from it too. Sometimes I wonder if that could've been the 'main' cause of her death.

On good days, she would be remembering me and taking me outside to play, but on bad days she didn't even remember she had a child; a day in day out, I needed to find out to which side of my mother I was talking to and she always found it hard to cope with such a sort of illness.

Yet when I met you, Zhan, you were different from it, you were you, you didn't make the amnesia take hold of your life; instead, you spread your broken wings, you did fall that time, but I was there to catch you, and I wish I could keep doing so.

Anterograde amnesia is like one-day memory; your brain won't be able to produce new memories because your brain is too full of old ones, sometimes you might remember flashes of them, but not much, isn't it?

I must admit I can't imagine living in that way, but you did Zhan, you're so brave, my little bunny, and don't you dare to deny either of the two.

Yes, you're strong, and yes, you're a bunny; have you ever seen yourself smile? So sweet, I will miss your smile.

Zhan, I wish you would have been able to see yourself through my eye; you're different yet perfect.

I was waiting for all this while until you would tell me about your amnesia because I wanted you to trust me as I trusted you, but I guess it didn't turn out the way I hoped, but please don't blame yourself, Zhan.

Whenever I gaze at the stars, I will be thinking about you. I would remind myself that you're looking at the same galaxy and living under the same sky and that someday our fate would collide again.

Now you might be questioning how I got this note inside your notebook, right?

Remember that day when I told you to write a letter to your future self?

I had written this letter before that already, and when you went down to make some snacks, I might and might not have sneaked it inside your notebook.

Now I can only hope and wish you got this note on time and won't keep hating me.

I know you might not be able to forgive me for leaving, but remember that I love you.

I love you more than I love to gaze at the galaxy with its shining stars because you're my galaxy, your eyes are stars, and your face is the bright moon, and whenever you smile, it's as if thousands of stars are shining inside your eyes.

So please smile when you read this and know I love you and always will continue loving you.

I sincerely hope someday we can meet again, and I hope until that day that I will be able to make something decent of myself and presentable for you; I hope you would someday look behind at the memories of ours and smile because we were what was.

Zhan Zhan, if it turns out you did not receive this note on time, I'm sorry for failing the mission.

Your Yibo,

Luv you today, wuf u tomorrow, and love you till the end of days.

PS. I will wait for you at the place we met when I get the chance to finally come back. I will pass by every day in the evening around 7 pm, so if you ever wish to meet me, you know where to find me, and don't hesitate, I still won't bite.

PPS. I hope you remember who I am, and if you don't, I just want to tell you I'm a nobody who just wants to see you smile and shine in the sky as if you had never fallen in your life before . . .

Word count: 1344 words