Weirder Things (Male OC X Wendy Corduroy)

War of the Holes

"'Pacifica Northwest declares v-neck the look of the season!'" Stan said, looking as confused as others when they read the title. "What am I looking at here?

"Woah, woah, WHAT?!" Upon hearing that, Mabel gasped when she looked at the paper for herself and was truly shocked when she didn't see her article anywhere. Instead, the newspaper read "GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!", and showed a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST." Below it was a new article all about the bratty heiress about how great she calmed to be.

"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page," Dipper remarked with disdain for Pacifica.

Wendy scoffed crossly. "Trust me, this isn't the first time," she growled bitterly. "Those Northwests love being in the fucking spotlight."

"Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?" Stan asked with a hint of ridicule.

"Ugh, Pacifica!" Mabel growled in frustration and threw down the paper. "She always ruins everything!"

Patrick got up and kneeled down next to his cousin to console her. "Aw, I'm sorry about your article, Mabel! But cheer up! You can always show the article to us. And besides, it's not like anyone's going to see Pacifica's. No one even reads newspapers anymore."

Soos suddenly came into the room with a copy of the newspaper. "Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further." He then pulled out a pair of scissors and a marker. "With a W-neck." The rest of the people in the room glared at him as he drew a construction line for a "w" and started cutting along the lines. "Must... follow... newspaper..."

"Soos!" Wendy snapped, getting Soos to stop and see that everyone was staring at him. "Not! Help!"

Mabel glumly ran over to the nearby table, furiously pouring herself a glass of orange juice, which she gulps down like a shot of whisky. "Aack! I need something to get my mind off this."

"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" Said the TV when it went to a commercial, asking the question that everyone was trying to answer.

Mabel perked up when she heard this. "Why yes!" she said, looking at the TV with interest.

"Victory! Honor! Destiny! Valor! Courage! Mutton!" Announced the commercial announcer boldly with various images. "These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! *No mutton available at the snack shop*"

"Since when did this town have a mini-golf course?" Patrick asked.

"Hey, Mabel! You love mini-golf!" Dipper exclaimed before pulling out a scrapbook. Patrick, Wendy, and Stan gathered around as he opened the book to a page with a picture of Mabel winning a trophy at a minor league gold competition with the caption "AGE 9". "She's been amazing at it since we were kids!"

Patrick was going to point out that they were still kids but declined the compliment. "You know what, we've had a stressful couple of days. I think we could all enjoy a day of mini-golf and just get our minds off our problems. What do you say, Mabel?"

"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked with a warm grin.

"Maybe a little..." Mabel said with a slight smile.

"Now we're talking!" Wendy exclaimed with encouragement as she jumped out of the seat. "Let's go, Mabel!"

Dipper jumped to his feet. "Victory!"

"Honor!" Mabel yelled.

"Destiny!" Stan proclaimed.

"Valor!" Patrick jumped in encouragement.