The Girl who Survived (Fred Weasley)

CH 43. Reading

          "So, you're not upset with me?" he asked, watching my mug.

          "No," I said quickly. "No one knew. There was no way of knowing it would actually happen. And now," I said and patted to the seat next to me so he would move over. "I could never feel any negativity towards you Georgie."

          "Why?" He asked me, taking me by surprise.

          "Because you're my Georgie. That's reason enough," I said and smiled at him.

          He gave me a smile and pushed his plate towards me offering to share his slice of cake with him. I summoned another mug from the cupboard and poured him a cup of tea.

          "If you want to talk about it? About Ced-" He began, but I wasn't ready.

          "No," I answered quickly in a small voice. "I don't," I said.

          "El, if you're in pain," He began again.

          "'Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have the greatest sadness on earth'" I said.

          "Who said that?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.

          "Dostoevsky. He's a muggle Russian author. The woman who did my hair recommended his book to me. Only I decided what breaks me," I informed him.

          "Always reading," he said as he accepted it. He knew me well enough to know that I didn't want to feel right now. I didn't want to feel the weight of my emotions. I just wanted to remain in this moment of acceptance with my friend who knew me best.

          "The new hair, by the way" He began as he took a drink from his cup. "I didn't tell you, but it suits you. Though I don't think anything wouldn't, other than those baggy overalls you used to wear," He said and laughed.

          We enjoyed our tea and finished the cake as we spoke freely as we had always been accustomed to. When we were ready to head back to bed, he walked me to my room and gave me a hug before returning to his shared room with Fred. Though I was a bit surprised to see Fred had taken the risk and moved into my bed.

          There was a certain ease to having Fred as my boyfriend and George as my best friend. Fred and I shared him. He was both Fred's Georgie and mine. However, reflecting on nights like this one, I felt as though I needed a map to find where the line rested between friends and more than friends. I thought things would change once he began his relationship with Angelina. I wanted to believe that his feelings for me had diminished, especially now that I was dating his brother. Yet at times I'd still catch him in a room full of people looking to me to see how I was feeling. Never wanting to be too far away.

***

          The morning sunlight streamed through a split in the curtains. The way it touched over my face was enough to wake me. I rolled over to escape it hoping for a bit more sleep, but I felt a familiar warmth next to me followed by the comforting scent of cinnamon and vanilla. Fred hadn't left, I laid to watch him sleep for a few minutes, lightly brushing his hair out of his face. I dressed and went downstairs quietly not wanting to wake him. It was similar to the electricity and sparks I felt with him, but having him next to me as I slept seemed to keep the voices at bay, and the nightmares didn't dare creep in. Almost as if he was protecting me from my own mind.

          "Good morning darling," Sirius said as I walked into the kitchen. "Breakfast? I'm afraid Molly's gone to the store, so you'll have to suffer my cooking if you're hungry," Sirius informed me.