It Was Always You - Professor Remus J. Lupin x OC

PART I -- RETURN

"Don't give me another chance, okay? If you said this is unfair for you, then just go."

"But I'm willing to try, why can't we work this out? Why are you pushing me away?"

Those exact words kept repeating in your mind. The reason you graduated out of Hogwarts with a terrible heartbreak, the reason you decided to be an Auror instead of a Professor. But that's not the reason why you're coming back here, to Hogwarts, where it all happened.

You clenched the hem of your coat tightly, kept doubting if this was a good idea. So many what-ifs ran through your mind. You shivered not because of the September wind but the possibilities of memories flooding back the moment you stepped into the grandiose castle. The memories of that man.

That man.

Professor Dumbledore, as the headmaster and decision-maker, had an agreement with the Ministry of Magic. In times like these, where the Dark Lord followers are terrorizing not only the Magic world, but also the Muggle world, protections are needed everywhere. You were stationed to protect Hogwarts alongside your fellow Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt.

You couldn't say no because Mad-Eye said, "It was Dumbledore who specifically asked for you to come to Hogwarts." You respected Dumbledore so much that it would be inappropriate to turn down this mission. He happened to helped you through the darkest days of your life. But did he know that this would lead to a reunion, right? Did he not know or did he do it on purpose?

Grabbing your luggage on the right side of your hand, you stepped out of the train when it had stopped at the Hogwarts station. You shivered for the umpteenth time. Your fight-or-flight response flooded your entire nervous system, begging you to board the train again and forget all of this.

"No, these kids need you. They need you the most. Don't be selfish, Luce." you uttered to yourself.

One Thestral carriage had waited to bring you to the entrance of the Hogwarts castle. House elves helped you with your luggage and soon you were on your merry way. The carriage ride made you reminiscing the first time you entered Hogwarts castle, the first time you broke your wand, the first time you attended the Yule ball, the first time you met those warm, loving yet exhausted eyes.

You were occupied by your thoughts you didn't realize you were already in your chamber. The house elves left you in the chamber to get ready for the dinner in the Great Hall. You took off your coat and scarf, humming a little to calm yourself down. You put on a comfortable light-grey pullover and brushed your hair a little bit. The next thing you know, you were in the middle of a crowd, entering the Great Hall.

"Ah, if it isn't Ministry's youngest best Auror. Thank you for coming on such short notice." Professor Dumbledore greeted at the entrance of the hall, he offered his hand to lead you to the teacher's table.

"It's nice to see you again, Professor." You took his hand and walked slowly

"Still the polite lady. You know you can call me Albus, huh?"

"I'd rather not, Sir." You chuckled

"Did Mad-Eye discuss with you on the situation surrounding Hogwarts?"

"Yes, Sir. Kingsley and I will do our best, you have my words."

"Right, always the reliable one you are. Enjoy your night, young lady. Minerva had asked the house elves to cook your favorite." he let your arms go as you both were nearing the teacher's high table


Professor McGonagall recognized you instantly, "Lucille Alessa Silverside, how lovely it is to see you again!"

"The pleasure's all mine, Professor McGonagall. I'm delighted to be back here." You smiled and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Come, come! Have a seat and please enjoy the dinner. Your ride here must've been windy, one can only imagine! I didn't understand why Albus had to bring you here in during the September weather. Come!" she gently pushed you to a seat next to her and another empty seat.

"Oh, no." you muttered beneath the breath, looking at two empty seats.

"Professor McGonagall, may I know where is Mr. Shacklebolt? Didn't he arrive one day earlier?" you slowly started to eat your dinner

"Ah, he's still doing some rounds with other staffs. One could never be too careful nowadays. Don't fret, young lady, take your time."

"With other staffs." You thought and nodded your head.

You're halfway finishing your dinner when the figure, you're so dreadful of, appeared with Kingsley Shacklebolt and Professor Severus Snape. His appearance didn't change much since the last time you remembered him. His scruffy grey sweater, his slightly messed light brown locks, his wand on the left side of his pocket, the distinctive scars and those eyes.

"Oh, those eyes." You screamed in your heart, pissed at yourself for being weak. All those memories came flooding back like a tidal wave.

"Don't give me another chance, okay? If you said this is unfair for you, then just go."

"But I'm willing to try, why can't we work this out? Why are you pushing me away?"

Kingsley and Professor Snape greeted you and choose the other side of the table. While the said owner of those eyes decided to sit on the empty chair next to you. He seemed reluctant at first, but he pulled the chair and sit comfortably. He paused a bit, brushed his hair back with his fingers, clasped his hands together and turned to you,

"Ms. Silverside, it's been a while." He said, looking straight into your eyes with a warm yet cold gaze.

"Professor Lupin." You smiled weakly. At this moment a sudden realization hit you that this exact man would be the death of you.

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