Can You Keep A Secret (Denis Stoff)

4

A/N: I think that I forgot to establish that Ryan is purely fictional. 

Lord, if you're watching me, I want you to help me. Please, help me. I thought this to myself as I sat in the meetings that we have weekly. Every week, everyone within a section of rooms meets together to do a 'group therapy.' Every week, someone ends up crying, someone ends up falling asleep, and someone tries to kill themselves. One good thing happened out of the four meetings that I'd been to, and that was my meeting up with Ryan.

There were eight of us in there today. The ninth couldn't make it because they were seriously ill. And of course by seriously ill they just mean that that person is borderline suicide attempt, and we don't need two of those. 

Speaking of which, someone just made a run for the window. I just sat and watched as they were taken by the arms and dragged out of the room. This wasn't uncommon in the suicide house, which is what I'd come to call this place. We went around in a circle, stating something about ourselves, all fake positivity. Nothing to take seriously. 

Afterwards, Ryan met up with me in the hallway. "You're really getting out in five days?" She asked me.

I nodded. "That's what they're telling me. At least that's what I overheard."

"But what if you end up not being able to? What if you can't be free?"

"I'll run away."

"Will you take me with you?" She asked.

I looked at her strangely. "Of course. Is there any particular reason why you're being so clingy lately?" I wondered allowed.

"I read it in a book once," She stopped walking and looked behind her. 

"You read what in a book once?" I asked, stopping with her. 

"Never mind. I have to go and do something," She grumbled to herself, walking away.

I was left there, alone and thoroughly confused. I decided not to worry about it though. Ryan can always be a little bit strange. At least that's what I've come to know. 

Strangely enough, it wasn't until I was in the cafeteria that I finally saw here again. She'd only gotten peach slices, but was poking at them with her fork. I sat down in front of her. "I threw away my razors and cigarettes," I reminded her. 

Ryan rolled her eyes and stabbed the fork through one of them, she picked it up and twirled it around. I distracted myself from her simply by opening a bag of chips. "They have chips?" She asked.

"It's a recent development, but apparently it's the only thing that someone in here will eat, so we all get to benefit off of it." I shrugged. "And I'm taking advantage."

She ate another one of her peach slices. "May I have one?"

I damn near fell out of my chair. I've known Ryan for almost four weeks, and never once has she ever asked for any kind of food or drink. And here she was, asking for one of the least healthy foods in the world. "Yeah, yeah, sure." I held the bag open for her and she took one, eating it immediately. 

"My one guilty pleasure," She explained. "I love potato chips."

I stood up and got another one, giving it to her. 

She shook her head. "I shouldn't. I don't want to hate myself  even more. " 

"You haven't asked for one thing this entire time. And it's the only thing that you actually want to eat. " 

Ryan sighed and opened the bag, less reluctant than usual towards the concept of eating. She cringed as she ate one. 

Never in my life have I ever been so proud of someone.