Tell me // H.S.

Falling

And through all of this, as I was falling down, he was, still, the person I wanted around. 

So I kept on falling. That's all I could do. 

I hated the person I had become. 

I finally decide to move from the bed, desperately needing to shake all the bad thoughts I'm getting. Right when I'm getting up, I see something on my nightstand -that stupid nightstand I've been destroying my foot in for the past few days. 

A note. 

Good handwriting. I wish I could say I don't know who's handwriting it is. But I know damn well. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths in and grab the piece of paper. 

'Dear Starla, 

I wish I could have said this to you in person, but Tom said it might be better if I didn't wake you up. I just want you to know that I'm really happy I met you. And that I had a great time being around you. I really did. Unfortunately, I have to go back home for a little while. I wanted to tell you about it today. 

Tom gave me your phone number, I hope you don't mind, and I'd be glad if you kept on giving me songs, even if I'm not here with you. 

I hope we can meet again soon. 

I hope one day, I'll get to know about that story of yours. 

I hope you'll find your way back. 

I believe you will. 

With all my affection, H.' 

I read it again, and again, trying to understand. 

Why did Tom give him my phone number? I don't want to have to talk to him. Because I know where it will lead me if I do. And I don't know if I'll be able to resist telling him about my past for a long time if I keep in touch with him. 

What does he mean when he tells me 'I hope you'll find your way back' ? Back where ? Is he telling me that he hopes I'll find myself again? He can't mean that. Cause there's no way he knows what this is like. There's no way he understood I literally have no idea who I am, and haven't for almost a year now. There's just no way. Sure, I've been a bit cold to him. Sure I told him that I didn't really have a 'story'. But still. I didn't straight up tell him 'Oh, by the way Harry, I really don't think you wanna know about me, because even I wouldn't want to know about me ! I know, how crazy, I don't know who the fuck I am.' But what if he did understand all of that without me saying it? 

This is so fucking idiotic. 

He seems to care, and he seems to be saying that he will miss me. He doesn't even know me. The real me. If he did, he wouldn't want to see me again 'soon'. If he did, he wouldn't even have left a note. 

But he seems to care. And it kills me, because I know perfectly well that I'm running out of meaningless things to say to him. So if he calls, I'll end up saying things that are too important. 

And I can't do that. 

Actually, if he calls, and a little voice in my head keeps telling me that he will...'because he cares, and you know he does', I just won't pick up the phone. Maybe he'll try a few time, since he's obviously stubborn. But then he'll stop. And then, hopefully he'll forget about me. 

As much as I don't want to let him in, I know it will be hard to keep him out. 

Harry's POV : 

She looks so peaceful right now. I could almost forget that just an hour ago, I could feel her whole body shaking under my arm, as I was getting her back to her hotel room. I could almost forget the fear and the pain in her yes as she told me she had to go, all of a sudden, when we were walking to the ice rink.