The Amazing Apocalypse

.1.

The bookshelves of the quiet school library stood tall against the young male. Souma Kanzaki spied the exact book he had been wanting to read for decades now, "How to commit suicide and how not to fail" by Osamu Dazai.
"Who the 'fhuyak' put it all the way up there." He cursed, reaching on his tip toes. "Why is it so high up???"

He stepped back with a huff, seizing the sword at his side.
Rather than being a good little boi and looking for the stepladder, a sharp katana will do the job instead!

"HYYYAAAAAAA" he yelled as he charged at the shelf. Katana raised high above his long purple hair.
"Kanzaki?" A deep voice called from the door way. Souma stopped in his tracks, clearly caught by his best friend Adonis Otogari, from the most radical unit in the school: Undead, and of course, his best friend. (jshssjshj fyi that's how Souma introduced Adonis in the stage play ,_,)

Adonis folded his arms across his chest.
"Ah! Adonis-dono!" Souma turned swiftly, hiding his katana behind him. "Funny to see you here!"
Adonis frowned.
"N-Not funny to see you here?" Souma tapped his chin lightly
Adonis frowned more.
Souma laughed weakly, "Anyway- I need some hel-"
"-Yes I can see that." Adonis nodded

Souma grinned, "Wonderful! I can't reach that book." He swung his katana at the book, slipping his grasp it flew through the air, skewering the suicide book.
Souma did not grin anymore.

Adonis eyes widened, "K-Kanzaki.."
Souma kept his cool, "We can fix this."
Loud footsteps echoed down the hall, reaching towards the library
Souma panicked, "Heck. We have to make a scene more distracting than that so they won't even notice."

Adonis thought, Souma thought.
"They're gonna notice Kanzaki." Adonis looked to the katana. Which,, despite how heavy it is compared to the small book was still hanging horizontally out of the shelf.
"Nmhnshsjsshsjshjsnsianssisnhsjn" Souma rubbed his temple, "What's so distracting.."
The footsteps neared the door..
Souma opened his eyes, moving to Adonis swiftly. "Kiss me."
Adonis stared blankly.
"It's the only distracting thing I can think of!" Souma begged.

"I know something else." Adonis looked down at the small male.

"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" SOUMA CRIED OUT. Adonis snapped Soumas heckin LEGS IN HALF at record speed.
The samurai flopped to the ground.
"H-hello..?" A quiet voice pushed open the door, "I need to return th-these books- OH GOD WHY IS THERE A KATANA THERE!?" Mayoi hurriedly dropped his books, "FORGIVE ME FOR INTRUDING! I SAW NOTHING DONT HURRTTT MEEEEE!!!" He ran out of the room.

Souma lifted himself with his arms. "Well damn. Now I'm definitely not reaching the book."
Adonis looked down on his now cripple friend. "Sounds like a you problem."
"THE AUDACITY" Souma slapped Adonis on the ankle, "IM DISABLED YOU GIANT PISS BABY LIFT ME TF UP!!"
Adonis picked his friend up under the arms, raising him to the top shelf.
He snatched the book away finally, "FINALLY I SNATCHED THIS BOOK AWAY!"
Adonis lifted him onto his shoulders, transporting him out of the library.

Until he tripped on Mayois mess, causing the two of them to fall straight onto the tiled hallway.
Thank god Mayois a clever lil baby boi who deserves the world and called the student council. The two got sent to hospital and lived happily ever after.

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No I did not spell check this, reread it or draft it