His heart thudded. Excitement and anxiety weighed his stomach down. While he was eager to finally have some open communication, he was terrified that somebody would say the wrong thing. He just needed Harry to understand that, no matter how hard it would be if the feelings weren't mutual, he would still be his friend. Admittedly, he didn't feel like he had a choice anyway. Excluding Harry from his life simply wasn't an option anymore.
"Yeah, no, of course," Louis shifted awkwardly. "Well, how about I get started on my work now and come back later? Say, six o'clock-ish?"
Harry nodded with a tight smile on his face. He seemed to be nervous too.
"Yeah, that's fine," He took a few steps towards his bathroom, snatching a discarded towel from his dresser as he walked. "I'm going to have a shower. See you later?"
"Yes," He said, standing up. He knew this was a polite dismissal of sorts. He wasn't sure why this felt so awkward for the both of them. When he woke up with him, he wanted a cozy time in bed, not whatever this was.
Nonetheless, Louis quickly shuffled to the door of the apartment, too enveloped in his thoughts to even look back at Harry.
As he waited for the lift, he wondered why it felt so weird in there. Was this the end for them? Was Harry uncomfortable with being nice to him when the end was so close upon them? Or did he just need time to sort out his thoughts himself?
That seemed more like Harry. He suspected that he didn't want to say anything too hopeful for fear of giving his hopes up while also not deflating Louis' joy completely. After all, he had said he still had no clue what he wanted or what he would say.
With the ding of the elevator, he stepped in and waited for his floor, muttering a quick hello to the pair of feet he saw, his gaze still averted to the floor as he thought of Harry.
"Louis?"
He stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice of his American ex-fling. Guilt overwhelmed him. He had been meaning to at least let him know he was okay, but he just had been so busy. Jake hadn't called but once, leaving a voicemail to Louis to call him when he was home. He had listened to it while Harry was peppering sweet kisses on his chest; of course he had been too distracted to call in that moment.
"Jake, how are you?" He noticed the luggage beside his left leg and raised a brow. "Been out of town?"
That explained why he hadn't known Louis was back, nor had he known with certainty about the nature of Louis' relationship with Harry. He likely had his suspicions though. There was no way he was that oblivious.
"Yes, well, after that day," he began pointedly. "I saw I wasn't needed at the moment. I needed to go see my family in Michigan. I was long overdue for a visit anyway."
Louis could sense some resentment in his tone, and honestly, he couldn't really blame him. I'm sure it would feel like shit to be in his shoes. As annoying as he sometimes was, he certainly didn't deserve to be caught in this drama with Harry. He wouldn't win anyway. He had accepted before now that regardless of Harry's choice, it would be a while, maybe even forever, before he could love someone again, and even then, it would never be the same as his love for Harry.
"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call Jake," Louis raked a hand through his hair. The elevator has stopped now, and they both stepped out into their shared hallway. "Things have just been crazy with— with everything."
Harry's name was implied, but he didn't dare to add salt to the wound.
Jake nodded solemnly, his jaw clenched slightly. Louis could sense he was more upset than he was letting on.
