rearviewmirror

visions & dreams - rearviewmirror - 1

     

        Chris jumped awake at the sound of shattering glass. Fear immediately rushed through him. His body began to shake. He heard the footsteps up the stairs, each step getting louder as they progressed. He wanted to escape, and he frantically looked around. Spotting his window, he scrambled up to it, and tried forcefully to open, and it budged, but all just too late. His father grasped his leg and pulled him onto the floor. Chris' head bumped the frame of his bed as we went down, causing him to groan in pain. His father took the cigar from his mouth and placed burns on his son's chest causing his son to squirm and yell out in agony. Chris' father laughed at every wince and scream. 

~

       Chris awoke again, feeling as if he hadn't slept at all, to find himself on a bus. He was being forced to leave Seattle to live with his aunt in New York City. He was taking the bus to his cousin James' house, who would be driving Chris to his aunt's. James wouldn't do it without pay, though. Chris felt as if no one would ever unconditionally love him. He had overheard his mother and aunt discussing a possible divorce, and his mother had said she would keep Chris for the child support money. His mother decided to stay with his father because of his well paying job, which he then lost. The two began to fight and argue more than ever, until it finally reached their son. His mother was emotionally distant, but his father hit and abused him violently. Chris finally arrived at his cousin's town bus stop where James had been waiting. 

       "Hey, you little punk!" James teased and laughed.
He didn't respond.
"Alright, well, my car is over there." He pointed and they walked in the direction.
The second they got in, James turned on the radio. Chris loathed the song that played. 
"Could you change the channel?" He asked, timidly. 
"Uhh... no" James answered and looked at Chris with a fake, cocky grin. 
He sighed, and knew it would be quite a long ride.

~ 

     Chris fell asleep after a bit but was rudely awoken by James shouting at the car in front. He heard the radio, which was playing 'Get Back' by The Beatles. 
"Could you turn this up, please?" Chris softly said, with a sore throat from not speaking.
"Uhh let me think..." James teased, and Chris had already rolled his eyes "...no." He finished. 
Chris had then immediately lay back down and fell asleep. 

~

       Thoughts of singing in a band filled his head, and having a boyfriend too. Yet soon his mother's awful and discouraging words scrambled his thoughts and took over. He felt himself drifting into a terrible memory.

       "Come here, you little faggot!" he heard his father sneer as he stood against the wall, trembling with terror. 
"I said come here!"  his father shouted. 
Chris couldn't move. His father threw a glass bottle at him and it hit the wall next to him. 
"Come here, or I'll kill you" 
that was all Chris needed.