Hold on I still want you

Chapter 14

"Thanks I'll let you know if I struggle", Alec said, though he probably wouldn't. Alec felt only Magnus should do something like that as it felt so intimate. Alec suddenly realized how close Andrew was, he was sitting on the bed and his face was close enough to kiss him. Alec felt uncomfortable and tried to subtly move away from Andrew. He knew Andrew hadn't meant to make him feel uncomfortable, so he didn't want to draw attention to it. 

"Alec there's something I would like to talk to you about. Um... I know you are with Magnus. But I am in love with you and I want you to be my omega". 

Alec looked at Andrew in shock, he had thought Andrew only saw him as his friend. "I'm so sorry but I love Magnus". 

Andrew felt his heart clench in pain, he knew Alec would say that but it didn't prepare him for the heartbreak. Andrew lost control and kissed Alec fiercly. But Alec didn't kiss back and pushed Andrew away. 

"Please stop, I-I want to be friends". 

Andrew got off the bed and put his head in his hands, "I'm sorry Alec, I didn't mean to kiss you". 

Alec was glad Andrew had stopped, he was afraid he wouldn't and would lose a friend, "I forgive you-"

"I should go", Andrew said talking over Alec and rushed out of the room. 

Alec wanted to run after Andrew but he was still feeling so exhausted and couldn't get up. Anxiety began to build up in him, Alec was afraid Andrew could not get past his feelings and refuse to be his friend anymore. 

Simon found Jace in the kitchen making some coffee. Simon had hoped that Jace hugging him when he came back was a sign that he still wanted him. But he hadn't come at all to see him after that. Only Clary was at his bedside. He was worried he had been wrong. 

"Um hi Jace", Simon said awkwardly, for the first time in his life he was struggling to find the words he needed to say. Normally he couldn't stop talking and said too much but now he was having the opposite problem. 

"Simon? I'm so glad to see you awake. I was getting worried". 

"Really? How come you didn't come to see how I was doing?" 

"I wanted to, but Clary wouldn't let me. Did Clary not tell you?" Jace said in irritation. 

"No she didn't, I was afraid that you didn't want to see me anymore". Simon was annoyed with Clary for not letting Jace in to see him, but he understood how protective she was of him. 

Jace  put his hands on Simon's waist and pulled him closer, "My feelings for you have not changed, Magnus told me what Raj did to you. I want you to know that I know he forced you, I don't think you cheated. I still want you, if you want me". 

Simon hugged Jace tightly, "I never stopped wanting you, you were the only thing that helped me survive Raj, Victor and the others. Thinking of our future together gave me hope. Speaking of our future, I understand if me being a vampire is a problem for us-" 

"Simon, it means everything to me that I gave you the hope you needed to survive. You being a vampire I hope won't be a problem. I have been thinking that, I would like to become a vampire so I can be with you forever". 

Simon smiled widely, he had hoped that this was what Alec had been implying but he had tried not to get his hopes up. "Are you sure? You would not be a shadowhunter anymore". 

"I am sure, I have thought long and hard about it and you are more important to me than being a shadowhunter", Jace said. "I would really like to kiss you now, but if you don't feel ready I can wait". 

"A kiss sounds very nice, but I don't think I could be ready for anything more intimate than that though for a long time. I hope that doesn't change anything for you".

"I more than understand, don't worry this doesn't change a thing", Jace said and leaned in to kiss Simon passionately. 

Magnus was trying desperately to find a way to save Alec. He needed to find a way to unbind him from Victor so that he could kill Victor or at least defeat him. But so long as Alec was bound to Victor, he was still a hostage even though he had taken Alec home. His office had become a mess in his frustration. He knew he could just clean it with magic but he found it a satisfying outlet for his anger. 

Izzy came in to the office and frowned in concern as she saw Magnus staring at a book and talking angrily to himself. "Magnus you need to stop and get some rest". Magnus didn't say anything and for a moment Izzy thought he was deliberately ignoring her which angered her. But she realized Magnus hadn't heard her. Izzy sighed and she grabbed the book Magnus was reading and hit him with it. 

"Hey! What was that for?" 

"It was the only way to get your attention". 

Magnus sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you". 

"I know, you have been working for too long. You need to stop and get some rest or at least see Alec. I bet he is upset you haven't seen him yet since he woke up". It had been a couple of weeks now and Izzy could tell Alec was upset Magnus hadn't seen him at all, even though he had been trying to hide it. 

Magnus felt guilty at that, he had been so focused on his mission he had forgotten he was meant to be taking care of Alec. "You're right, I'll go see Alexander". Magnus said as he got up. 

Izzy stopped Magnus before he left, "Wait, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for everything you are doing and for getting Alec away from Victor. Just don't forget to spend time with Alec again he misses you so much". 

Magnus smiled warmly at Izzy, "You are more than welcome, like I said I would do anything for your brother. I promise you I won't do it again I miss him a lot too". 

When Magnus went to Alec's room, he saw Alec was trying to read but he looked distressed which concerned him. "What's wrong Alexander?" 

Alec's eyes lit up when he saw Magnus but he deflated at the question, "Um nothing". 

"I can tell you are upset, please tell me what's bothering you. Don't push me away remember?" 

"Andrew came by a couple of weeks ago to give me my meal, but he told me he wants me to be his omega and he kissed me". 

"What? He kissed you!" Magnus said angrily, "You didn't kiss him back did you?" 

"No Magnus I pushed him away, please believe me". 

Magnus sighed, but he cupped Alec's face soothingly, "I believe you, but I need to have words with Andrew". 

"Please don't, he was really upset with himself. He realized he shouldn't have kissed me. I need you here with me". 

"Fine but only because you don't want me too, I am sorry I have been neglecting you. I didn't intend to". 

"It's okay I understand you have been trying to find a way to save me". 

"It's not okay, I should have balanced my time. I will work on that". 

Alec smiled gratefully, he had missed Magnus a lot. They spent the rest of the afternoon together watching movies to try and take their minds of the things they feared. Alec knew he couldn't keep his secret of being a vampire from the others for much longer, but he was grateful for the peace he could have with Magnus.