Loving You (One Shot)

One Shot

"Hey! "
I glance at my friend who's currently taking a sit beside me
"Hey! Francesca!" she glared at me
"Don't call me that, it's Franky!"
"Oh, yeah I forgot " I actually teasing her then I glance at the shot glass in front of me when she suddenly speak
"Have you told her? " I looked at her and smiled weakly. I continue to smile even though it hurts me and feels like stabbing me, my heart a multiple times she looked at me with pity in her eyes
"What she said? " she ask again
"Well, I didn't wait for her answer and I know what her answer is" I drunk another shot again I called the bartender to give me another glass
"Well, tell me what happened before you get drunk" she said

*Flash back*

I texted Ysa to met me up before 3pm and yes for the first time in a while she agreed to go with me because, she doesn't have time because, she's a teacher and she have a boyfriend. Oh by the way I didn't have a chance to introduce myself, I am Justine and I also owened a restobar with this girl Franky shes been with me when we were kids, and the rest bar is restaurant at morning and bar at night, anyways after I texted Ysa I text Franky.

To Franky
Hey! I will tell her now.
She replied immediately
                                        From Franky
                                    Oh yeah? Where do you
                                    get courage? You coward.
That's what you really gonna say?
Support me instead.
                                   Yea yea! Tell me what
                                    happen after, okay?
Yap! Go to the bar at 10.
                                   Copy.
-
30mns before 3pm and I'm on my way at her house.
After 20mns I arrived at her place and currently she's waiting outside I honk at her to get her attention she suddenly smile and enter the car.
"Wait to long? " I ask
"Nope! I just got outside then you came." she pause "So? Where we gonna go?" she ask
"to our place" I smiled at her
"Tell me something, maybe?"
"Yap! " I respond

After two hours we arrive at the place, 'I really love the view of this place, it gets me remind the old times', I jolted when she suddenly hold my arms.
"Shall we? " she said, I nodded at her

"Looks like you prepared huh!" she said
"I came from here before I fetch you" she nodded as a response and smile
" I thought that you're not free but, I take all my courage to ask you and go here" I said
"And why is that? " she raise her brows
"You'll know but, before that I want us to eat first"
"I - yea yea, I'm kinda hungry, it's already 6"

After we ate we sat down at the picnic blanket, It was comfortable yet not Comportable silence because, I was so nervous. I felt she leaned in and rest her head to my shoulder and spoke.
"I remember when we where in highschool, I said that you were my boyfriend when we were together" I just nod and she continue "I mean it because, I felt safe when I'm with you" I smiled and remember those times
"so, I suddenly have a girlfriend that time and I didn't even know" I laughed and her too. I smiled bitterly that yea she has a boyfriend a real boyfriend of her until now they were together.

There's a long silence until she ask me.
" what are you going to tell me?"
I sat up straight and focus my self. I felt her stares at me.
She hummed " It's a serious one" she said. I spoke.
"look, I didn't know where to start but, I know when it started" I looked at her, she look back in confusion I just continue "just listen okay? " she nodded and I averted my eyes at the view of city lights I take a deep breath.

"Ever since we meet I have this feeling that I can't understand and I didn't pay attention to it" I said as I hold my chest near to my heart it beating so fast
"I didn't mean to feel this, it was unintentional" I smile bitterly "and we get to know each other and bonde as a friend, the more I ignore what I'm feeling the more it grow, I think you know what I mean" I can't look at her because I was afraid that she might judge me.
"I don't want to admit to myself that I fall for you every day, every second, every minute, every hours that I am with you and kinda think that you have a boyfriend and here I am just your best friend, I was always jealous even though I have no right. To be clear here I am not forcing you to love me back,  because loving you is enough for me " I paused and take another deep breath and continue
"All those years, since we where grade10 up until now I felt the same, it never change I'm so selfish to feel this and I just want this big sword out of my chest and heal the wound that it cause and yep! I know that after you know all of it, it will change us. I'm afraid yea but I just want to let it out. I carried this for 10 years. You imagine that?" I laughed out loud "and I think that you should know this after this we can pretend that we don't know each other and be strangers, I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me and yea we don't need to avoid each other because, I have a solution but before that can we pretend that I didn't say all of it until I get you home?" I finally look at her, I really can't read her it's so hard to read her I smile again but feel more much pain and averted her eyes "this is the last I promised, I want to keep your smile with me forever but I know that it's not right thing to do because you were my best friend, you have your boyfriend...... You know what how I wish that your smile, your eyes, your attention all the things that you gave to him was mine how I wish. And I even promise to my self that in next life, I will find you as a man and love you until I die, I want to look at you smiling, I want to see you happy. Seeing you happy make me happier. Even though it was not me.... the reason why you smile." I sighed "so? What's your answer to my request that until I get you hom-" she stop me from talking by held my hand and lean her head again to my shoulder. "yes, if it's your wish, until you get me home." a tear form to my eyes and flow to my cheeks 'so this is the end' I put my arms around her I felt her move and intertwined her hand on my hand that place to her waist. How I wish that this will last long, I'm stopping my self to cry. I close my eyes feeling her warmth, I held her tight as if I will not held her again like this until I feel her weight, she fell asleep.

I carried her to my car hold her like she was the most precious diamond that I hold afraid to break.
I put her gently to passenger seat and pasten her seatbelt and go to the driver seat.

I looked at her, carefully put her hair to her ears, I smiled bitterly 'you will never be mine' I started to drive, until we reach her place. I lightly tap her shoulder to wake her up, and yeah she wake up. I smile at her "where at your place now." I said she didn't respond she didn't leave her seat she didn't remove the seatbelt and suddenly spoke "you're so dense! You're so stupid! You're so selfish "she growled I saw her tears landed to her hand I hold her chin and up it to look at me. I smile " I already know, don't tell me that." I looked at her with sad feeling "I am so sorry" I hold her nape and leaned in to kiss her forehead. She hit my chest near to my shoulder and cry more "You're so selfish! Your so selfish " she repeated it until I hugged her she cry more loud as I caress her back.
As we lean back she stared at me I look at her I slowly lean in, I stopped, as I breathe heavily and "can I?... Can I kis-" she shut me up by kissing. I tilted my head to deepen the kiss we stopped as we taking our breathes and..

*Back to reality*

I drunk again that what's on shot glass
"Drake! Give me a whisky" he nodded and gave me a whisky I look at Franky that looking at me indisbelief "What? " I said
"you -you Kissed her?! " she asked stuttering I shook my head and laugh
"she kissed me, I only asked her and she suddenly kissed me"
"you in trouble bro! "
"nope!" I laughed
"How do you sure about that? " she asked
"she falls asleep, she cries and sob, she's crying mess, I don't think she will remember, I even get her to her unit and place her in her bed." I drink the whiskey and tasted it bitter ness. "and after that we will not meet each other, which is good so she won't remember what happens after she falls a sleep. And I said to you before that I will go abroad and you! You! You! You! Will take care of our resto bar!" I finished my sentence.
"yea, I did not forget about that, I think she have a feelings for you too, why don't fight for her? " she said
"nah! I know I will lose"
"you did not enter the battle and yet your saying that you will lose! How really coward you are!"
"My flight will be tomorrow " I said and look at her.
"that was fast, you tell her? "
"nope! I didn't get a chance" lies! Did not tell her on purpose!
"hmm. But you get a chance to kiss her huh! So how hour, days, months, years you will out off my sight?"
"hmm two or three months" I said
"okay, but I freffer you will comeback when you'll finally okay, I can manage our restobar on my own!" she said
"yea right" I said mockingly
"and" she get my whiskey and drunk it instead
"hey! That's my whiskey " I whined
She continue " and, you have a flight tomorrow right, don't get drunk and go home already to get strength before your flight, I will fetch you tomorrow okay? Now go home!" I sighed.
---
Good bye for now, I will find my self once I did it I will comeback like no one knows me. I will change my self, and will never remember what happened here, what happened to us.