Prison Is Hope (South Park AU)

⛓Chapter 1⛓

"He's not going to survive in Jail. Choose someone else Kyle."

The Raven-haired girl made an educated assumption. Considering Tweek was a mere 5'1 it was fair enough to assume he wouldn't stand a chance against the mountains of muscles in prison. Either way he had to go for his peace of mind. The fair-skinned boy participated in selling drugs to so many innocent customers at his parents' store. If he didn't hand himself over to the justice system he knew light would cast itself away from him and Satan would pull him into the depths of hell during his final moments. Sure he wasn't properly handing himself in but this was good enough in his eyes.

"Wendy! Don't judge Tweek just because he looks timid and tiny. Butters is only an inch or two taller than him and he is working here without much trouble."

Tweek turned to look at the 5'3 correctional officer who was sitting crossed-legged on his leather chair. His eyes were glued to the screen of his Nintendo Switch. Every so often the officer had to sweep his hair away from his face in order to have a good sight of his hand-held console.

"WHOO! OH GOLLY! I got second place in Hello Kitty Kruisers! Only beat by Keroppi! Boy did that get my heart racing-"

Butters clearly didn't impress his co-worker all that much for she took one glance at him, rolled her eyes and gave Kyle the 'I told you so' look.

"Stan, I know Kyle is your best friend but you seriously can't support him on this decision!"

Tweek had seen other girls use that expression she gave to Stan countless times before. Wendy gave him the classic batting of the eyes. Did she really think he would fall for the easiest trick in the book?

"Well...This kid really does want to participate in the experiment from the sound of things and we will be closely monitoring him at all times. Not to mention this is a minimum security facility anyway, minor offenders."

If Wendy wasn't impressed before she must have died from a lack of admiration for the idea by now. What was she expecting though? Tweek thought he wasn't a particularly good option but he certainly wasn't the worst. At least he was listening and taking in the conversation to the best of his ability.

"Exactly, thank you Stan. Plus we can trust this boy completely. No offence Tweek but I doubt a 5'1 twitchy eighteen year old could overpower four armed correctional officers. We need more information on this prison since...the incident. We need to find out where the drugs are coming from, who they're coming from and where they are being hidden. We need a civilian spy. Now Tweek, I asked you to think about a cover story as to why you're going to prison as the prisoners will interrogate you when you enter. Any ideas?"

Tweek thought this was it. They likely wouldn't believe what he says to be the truth but this was the moment Tweek could relieve the information that had held his conscience captive for so many years. He had known it was wrong since a young age but his parents always manipulated him into keeping his mouth shut. They got him addicted to the coffee, their coffee, and told him if he reported them to the authorities he would never get a taste of it again. It was at this moment Tweek realised how much he was going to miss his parents' coffee.

"My parents used me to get drug parcels from the South Park Slums for Tweek Bros coffee. It went on for years and I started at a young age. Since I helped until I was caught at the age of eighteen I was arrested. However I started at a young age and had unrightfully grown accustomed to the drugs so I was not as severely charged as my parents, that's why I was placed in a minimal security prison."

All of the officers gave a joint look of shock and confusion before Wendy piped up. Oh no. Have they grown to become suspicious of him? Did he misplace his words?