How It led To This

I'm trying, so please... (3)

'She's so fat.'

I heard that

'Grandma says your so annoying that she tries to avoid you.'

I trying not to be, i'm sorry.

'Your ugly.'

I know that

'What do you want now?'

I'm sorry, I won't bother you.

Fat, annoying, ugly & a burden. I've heard heard it all, worst part is I heard it not only from school but also my own family. If anything I hear it more from my family, rather its face to face or behind my back and I heard it/someone told me.

For the people who told be face to face, thank you, I know that I'm a burden and annoying. As soon as I was a aware of it I tried my best to stop it, not talking unless spoken to. It was difficult and heart breaking to me but if it made you guys happy then I was willing to take the pain, like I always do.

For the people who said it behind my back, I know i'm ugly and fat. I don't know why that bothers you, maybe because i ate all the food or because it just does. Either way I did my best to stop that, I know I couldn't do anything about my face but I could stop eating for a few days.

Days skipped, my eye sight would get blurry and I couldn't move around as much but, but if it made you guys happy then I was willing to take the agony of not eating, like I always do.

It never made sense to me why she abandoned us but after hearing what everyone feels about me, I guess I found my answer. So Mom, I'm sorry for being a burden. To the point you smoked and drank, I'm sorry for being alive. You should have just left me on the streets to die, I'm sorry for being so annoying and sensitive. I lost you,we lost you, the only one who understood and watched out for me,for us, and it's all my fault.

Mom I'm sorry,...for everything.

I know this will never make up for being a burden but I'm trying, so please....

Don't leave me

A/N:I know it's a little short and messy but I needed to let it out.