Hope and Fear

Hope and Fear 5

Aaron let go of my face and I felt empty at that moment. I did not speak, I just followed Aaron's lead. He took my hand and looked around the barn for I dont know what. I let go of his hand and then continued to walk behind him. The barn was very dark, too dark,  I regretted letting go of Aaron's hand but I could not touch him anymore. I could hear his steps and simply followed after him. He stopped at one point and picked up something. I could not tell what it was. Though I was curious I refused to talk to him. I was not sure why but I was furious at him. I hated that I needed him, that I depended on him. He let me down when he let that man suffer, even though I understood his reasoning, I was still angry. Aaron turned around and headed towards the doors of the barn. I could see in that direction a light through the cracks in the doors. He stopped in front of the door and looked through one of the cracks I could not hear anything coming from the outside. Aaron stepped out and crouched. I followed suit making sure that I was in perfect alingment with him. 

Once in the forest we quickly ran into the river of bodies once again. I was panicked to see the bodies again but even more to sense that the guards could be close at any given point. Aaron turned around to look at me and signaled towards the bodies. I knew what he was trying to say. I had to cross them. He offered me his hand but refusing to touch him I walked ahead of him. This part of the river seemed more like a ditch, with bodies covering the floor. To cross it I would have to first slide down onto the bodies and then climb over them to reach the other side. I slid down and hit the soft ground. 

"Just dont look at them" said Aaron. Those were the first words I heard come from his mouth in hours. 

I tried to listen to his advice. But it was hard to not look at a pool of bodies. Some were dressed others completely exposed. It was unstable ground as well. I was not able to walk on two feet since the bodies tended to move once we stepped on them so we proceeded to get on all fours. The stench was nausiating, more than once I swallow vomit, I refused to get sick again. I crawled over the bodies attempting to never touch their faces or private parts. There were many females without clothing on and it was terrible to see the state of some of the bodies. One woman was so thin that her breast were nothing more than empty bags and she looked more like a skeleton than a female. Her ribs were sticking out and her legs looked like sticks. These bodies were hard to crawl over since they often were so small they could not hold my weight and were also very pointy. I was close to the other end when I saw the next body. It was a baby. No more than a year old. I could not tell what it had died from, the other bodies either had bullet holes or burn marks but this corpse looked as if the child was sleeping. I could not help but touch its sweet face. Aaron was close behind me and stopped as well looking at me. I wanted to cry but had no tears left in me. I simply looked at the child and wondered what could have happened to him. He was so white with black hair and a very small delicate body. Without thinking twice I picked up the body in my arms. Aaron then stood up and looked at me with incredulous eyes. 

"What are you doing?!" he screamed.

"He is just a baby" like this would explain everything.

I stood on my legs and walked the rest of the way making sure to not drop the baby. The baby's body was soft and though it smelled I could not help but want to hold him close. I was amazed at his perfection. In a pool full of burns and wholes those monsters had enough decency to not put a scratch on this child's body. I imagined his death to be quick and pain less. I hoped that he did not have to suffer the loss of his mother and that he did not even realize the nearness of death. 

"He probably died in the gas chamber" he said as if he knew what I was thinking.

"They put a group of people in there and then put this poisoneous gas to kill them all at once" he went on to explain. 

I did not answer because what he said was so terrible. I had hoped that the men had been kind to him but I knew that Aaron was correct this child was most likely stuffed in a room along with his family and he was poisoned I could see him holding on to his mother tightly hoping that she could protect him. Trusting that she would make everything alright. I climbed over the last body and reached solid ground. I then put the body down and began to cry. His body just lay there without any movement with out any chance of growth. I became frustrated and began to shake the body. He needed to breath he was out of the pool now he could come with me and we could hide in the forest. Why was he not waking up?!

"Wake up baby! Please wake up!" I screamed over and over again. Begging the baby to open his eyes to see that he was safe. Aaron came over to me and pulled the child from my hands. I did not put up a fight, I just let myself cry. Aaron took the child and held him as I had done. 

"Lets give him a proper burial" Aaron suggested.

I noticed for the first time the item that Aaron had taken out of the barn.It was a shovel. So we dug a hole for the child and layed him there. I recited my prayers as Aaron did his. Each hoping that in the heavens he would meet with his family and find peace. Aaron held my hand while we prayed, at the end he stood up and pulled me into an embrace. I was not crying, he held me just to hold me. Im sure he wanted to comfort me but this embrace was different it was soft and loving and protective. Before I could move though he stepped away and began to walk again. I did not say anything in return and just followed. I noticed that it had turned into day time. I kept walking realizing that it had been a while since I had slept. Aaron then stopped again and held out his hand towards me. I took it this time not knowing what would come next. 

Aaron made a noise of a bird and several men then came out from behind the trees. Some I recognized from my town and school others were complete strangers to me. They were all very dirty and had guns. I was amazed to see some of the younger boys holding a gun. We had finally made it to the camp....