The Diaries Of Solitude

Just the two of us

_JUST THE TWO OF US_

"I always imangined us ending up together
We didn't mind using the word 'forever'
But now you can't even tell me you love me anymore
We are still together but my heart is breaking
I still love you so much ,l still feel those sparks for you
I still want you in my life but you want otherwise
I'm not sure how to deal with these feelings l have for you
Because the last few months have been wonderful
I wonder where we went wrong
We communicated about everything so l wonder how we got here.
How did we end up like this?
How did we end up in this cold place of confusion?
How am l.supposed to make you fall inlove with me again when l have no control.
All l.can do is watch our relationship crumble.
I thought l could compensate your lack of love by loving you more.
I thought this would make things better because you would fall back inlove with me again .
But while trying to love you with all my heart, it turns out that l was hurting and destroying myself in the process. I was only tearing myself further apart.
Show or rather teach me how to let you go because I am still so deeply in love with you.
I used to to tell.myself that although you don't love me the way l need to be loved that doesnt mean you don't love me at all.,but l was wrong. 'Just because he can't love you the way you want him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you with everything he has', a wise person once told me and l believed him.
I don't want to give up on us.
Do you know how hard it is to say l love you for the first time?
How do l go ahead and start something new with someone else when you're the only love l know of?
It's hard to say it again in my case...
Where did l go wrong in loving you ?
I can't live my life without you or picture someone else  because youre my EVERYTHING."

It's funny now that l look back and re-read everything that my thoughts were consumed of. Yes,first love and first heartbreak always hurts but that doesnt mean it's the end of the world. Someone better and worth all the pain will come into my life ,maybe l haven't met or found him yet,but l have faith it will happen when God wills it. He will be my soulmate. A wise person once said that first love is a mistake but second love is a correction of that mistake and everyday l keep believing this theory. When even the most damaged people can find love again ,l also believe l will find it as well. Hardin Scott(Hero Fienne) once said" I never thought l would find myself completely and utterly consumed by another until her. She took my hand and led me out of the darkness and showed me that whatever our  souls are made of hers and mine are the same." I hope I get to feel that way and in my life and that it lasts forever.