Katie loved seeing matt and his family with her family. She loved to see them interact. Matt and her dad seemed to like each other. They had similar interests and personalities. They had similar styles of humor. They both liked dad jokes. They seemed to connect.
Her mom loved matt's kids. She did not have any grandma's but she had a lot of children including a newborn. She loved kids. She was quite smitten with them. They were well behaved and polite. They were very funny too. They had a silly side but they were not obnoxious.
Her younger brothers and sisters enjoyed playing with his kids. They got along very well. The two families seemed to be in the process of creating a bond.
Matt enjoyed observing Katie in her natural habitat. She was very helpful. She seemed to help out with chores. She helped watched the kiss as well. She seemed to always be there when her family needed her. He appreciated that.
He asked her dad about it. "I have tried to. observe Katie.she seems she is very helpful. She seems to do things without being asked but when asked, she jumps to it. Is that an accurate assessment?" He asked.
"Very much so. She has been a help to us ever since she was little. Even more so now. She is growing into a promising young lady. Anna and I are very proud of her. She is a hard worker at home and " he said. "I am so glad to hear that. I observed the same from her. She is very helpful. " he said. "She is a very special person. She and I have always been close. She is a daddy's girl. " her dad said. "I can see that that is true," Matt said.
"So, are you thinking you want to mary my daughter someday?" Her dad asked." from everything I have seen, she is ould want to marry. I have not seen any red flags or concerns. "Matt said. "Good. I had a feeling that you were considering marying her. I am.glad to hear that. Katie had never really dated. I think that she was waiting for the right one. She is a responsible and thoughtful person. I suspect she would not pursue you if she did not think she would mary you. I am.glad that you two are on the same page on this. " her dad said.
"I think that she will be a great stepmom and mom and a great pastors wife," Matt said. "I agree. " her dad said.
"So, do you have any thoughts on a time table? We are not eager for Katie to leave the house and go off on her own. We want what is best for her. Had you given thought to a time table?" Her dad asked.
"I have given thought to it. I do not want it to be too short I want us to the jeep to know each other. I want us to see how we operate in different circumstances. How we handle stress for instance. At the same time, I do not want any courtship to be too long either. I want stability for the girls. They are getting older. I want them to have a mother figure in their life. I want us to mary while they are still young especially when Lindsay is young. She is getting older. I don't have a clear time table but I want it to.be sooner rather than later but not.too soon. The bible is clear on the pitfalls of doing things in haste. Do you have thoughts on time table?" Matt asked.
"Katie is an all or nothing kind of girl. When she decides to do something, she is all in. I believe she is all in with you and your family. I agree that it should be too short of a courtship. I agree that it should not be too short either. I hope you will both work towards engagement. " her dad said. "That is my plan yes," Matt told him. He was eased with that.
"Anna and I are quite taken with your kids. They are very sweet. You have raised them well. " he told matt. "I can tell they have taken to you and your wife," he said.
After a while, he grilled note burgers. Matt went and found Katie. "Hey, you!" She said. "Hi. " he said."i think my parents like you. "She said. " they are great people. I like them. "He said.
" I missed you so much maty. "She said. " I missed you too Katie," he said. "It is so good to see you," he told you. "It is good to see you, she said.
They hung out by a campfire for a while. After a time matt decided that they should be heading back. "Thank you so much for inviting us. Thank you for your hospitality," he said. "Our pleasure. We will do this again," he said. "Your welcome to come up to.my.house some time. " matt said. Matt shook his hand. He thanked her mom as well. Her mom said goodbye to the girls. "It was so good to meet you guys," she said.
Katie walked matt and the girls to the van. They put the kids in the van. "You have to call me when you get home. Promise?" She asked. "I promise," he said. "I would tell you to drive carefully but I know you will. Try to drive the speed limits. Not everyone appreciated driving ten under." She said. "What about five under?" He asked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know about you," she said. They both laughed.
"See you again soon honey," he said. "Sounds good babe," she said. He got in. He started the car. He watched her leave. She did not like this part. The last where he left. She felt like he had just arrived.
She went back up to the fire lit where her parents were. "So what did you think?" Katie asked. "He is nice. " her dad said. "He likes you. I can tell. " her mom said. "I think you two are a good fit for each other. " her dad said. "I think so too," she said.
"I was a bit surprised that you top do not show physical affection. I figured that kissing would be out. I figured you would hold hands or at least hug." Her dad said. "I was surprised by that too. " her mom said.
"We have not talked about it. He is very traditional and old fashioned. I assumed that he would not support it. He had A sermon on marriage. He said that a man should not touch a woman until they are maried. He quotes that verse," I write these things that a man should not touch a woman." Even though that is a misquote, that was the verse he used. He does not believe that people not married should not engage in any physical contact. I have not attempted any. "She admitted.
"It just seems odd. No physical contact at all. I can understand no.kissing. your mom and I did kiss before we got maried. "He admitted. " I did not think of us as rebels but I guess we were. "Her mom said.
" I am fine with it. I understand his reasoning."Katie said. "When it says a man should touch a woman, he is saying that a man should never touch a woman. Paul was advocating celibacy but admired that that was unrealistic. He was using a euphemism. There is no limit on that. It does not say until marriage. " her dad said.
"Are you concerned about this?" She asked. "A little. You are someone who craves physical affection. You are a touchy-feely person. Not even a goodbye hug?" He asked. "I understand. I was taken aback by it. It is not a deal-breaker with me" Katie said. "I agree. It is not with me either. I find it unusual that's all. " her dad said.
Matt and his family had an uneventful trip back. They made it back home. They left the van. He called Katie. "Hi honey, I made it home. " I said. "Oh good. I am so glad you made it babe," she said. "Me too. We all had a really good visit," he said. "I thought you did. I am glad to hear that," she said.
That night her parents talked to while in bed. "Are you concerned about the no physical contact thing?" Anna asked him. "A little bit. Katie needs a hug now and then. I like him. I am concerned that he can't or won't meet her emotional needs. She struggles with depression and anxiety. I am concerned that he is so analytical and logical, that he might miss her emotional well-being. Providing financially is only part of the duties of a husband. " he said.
"Do you think he won't provide for her emotional needs?" She asked."i am not sure. He is sincere. He cares about her. I am worried about it. She needs someone who can fight the battles with you and sometimes for her. I support their relationship. I want them to get maried. I hope he understands what is needed with her. "He said.
She was curious about his views on physical affection. She asked him about it on the phone. " what is your view on physical affection. I know from your summons and your blog, but I don't know." she said.
"Well, absolutely no kissing until the pastor says you may now kiss the bride. That is non-negotiable," he said.
"I figured. I am fine with that," she said. "Good," he said
"Hand-holding?" She asked. "Well, a simple handshake, not a problem. not prolonged but shake hands move on with life. With.holding hands, there is a spark. An electric spark. A spark like that is only for marriage. I can't permit hand-holding until we join hands on our wedding day. " he said.
"Ok. That makes sense" she said. She was a little disappointed but she figured that that was his answer. She was glad she had heard it from the horse's mouth as it were. Now she had a definitive answer.
"You do know Paul was saying he preferred man never get married. Using that verse in First Corinthians is untenable. If you used that verse not even. maried couple could touch each other. It goes on to.say nethetles let a man have his wife. " she said.
"I see that you saying but I disagree. Yes, Paul preferred celibacy especially among leaders of the church. You can apply no touching to be before marriage." He said. "I am not sure. The spark thing makes sense. I agree that that spark is for marriage. I believe in boundaries. I crave physical affection. Can we hug once And a while?" She asked.
"One quick hug when we see each other and one when we leave. Not a sustained hug. A quick hug. " he said she did not comment but it seemed like visiting day in prison.
"Did you and Leah hug before you were married?" She asked."yes we did. I asked her dad if I could give her a hug.he said yes. "He said.she was a bit horrified by that statement. " ok. You owe me an extra hug. Just saying." she said. She laughed. "Ok deal." He said.
"At least I know where you stand on this." She said."are you ok with this?" he asked. "I think so. yes, I am ok with that. Do you have rules?" She asked."not really. I don't want to be legalistic. I know that the flesh is weak. I do not want to make provision for the flesh. I know no relationship is without blemish. There is no condemnation. I want to get as close as we can. I don't want us to be miserable. Dating is not easy. It is good training. Self-discipline is important "he said. " ok. I agree with that "she said." Good."he said
Next up
Matt and family attend a misons conference at gary's church. He visits with Katie as well.
