Queen Of The Hills

Chapter VII

THE STORY OF VINITA JOSHI nee AIYAR

EARLY LIFE

'Hear me out my child and tell me my fault,' Vinita looked at her daughter and spoke gently, 'But first let me lay threadbare before you, all the twists and turns of fate that I have faced over the years; fate that forced my hand, making me do what I did. Then my dear girl, I give you the freedom to judge the credibility of my actions and point me out if I have been found wanting. As for me, I can say with confidence that whatever I have done in the past, I had done with the conviction that all my actions were as would befit a good human being. '

'I have raised you not as a weakling but as an individual made of much sterner stuff; a person who doesn't carry in her mind preconceived notions while judging an issue, but one who gets to the core of the issue as does a farmer, while separating the chaff from the grain. Undoubtedly you are my child, but you are first and foremost a woman; an independent woman who is not fettered by mundane conventions imposed by weak men to rein in women, who don't otherwise succumb to their unreasonable diktats,' Vinita said. Simmy could see the same glow of determination on her mother's face which she had seen years ago, on the day their car had broken down in the dead of the night.

'I was the youngest of four siblings, the only daughter among four children. My father, Shivanathan Aiyar, was a staunch Tamilian Brahmin, firmly entrenched in his religious beliefs and ideas. I had a happy childhood, participating in equal measure in all the games that my three elder brothers played. I was a tomboy, quite similar to what you had been at your young age. My father was working in a Government job, and he was transferred from one place to another, until he was posted in Dehradun, where we stayed for a decent length of time,' said Vinita. Simmy had often wondered earlier why her mother evaded the topic whenever she wanted to know about her maternal grandfather. This was the first time her mother was talking about her father.

'We stayed in a comfortable government housing complex in Dehradun. Life was all fun and frolic, with adoring parents and protective brothers around me. But one day things changed suddenly.....' there was a pause in her mother's voice before she continued, 'it was the day I had my first period. Yes, it may sound very strange but from that day onward my happy little world turned upside down.'

'It was only then that the shallowness in my father's personality first came to light. Till then a man who had been so playful and indulgent with me, suddenly became overtly and unreasonably protective. This attitude of his became more and more rigid over time. My appearance before him no longer brought a spontaneous twinkle of delight in his eyes but a more forced show of happiness.'

'The new happening in my adolescent life became something of a double whammy for me. As if waving good bye to the carefree days of childhood was not enough, I had to now deal with a father who always seemed to be on his edge whenever I was near him. A troubled child craves for all the love and attention from the two people closest to him. And here was a father who was always on his tenterhooks and a mother who always looked....how should I say it...as if she was always holding back a part of herself from me... as if showering too much attention on me would invite the wrath of her husband.'

'To me all of this was such a traumatizing and almost humiliating experience. It was as if both my parents secretly wished that I had never grown into adulthood, my father wishing so because of his strange fears and my mother because of her fear for my father. There were even restrictions on my going outside the house. My dresses became more conventional. It became a series of .....Vinita..... don't do this....don't do that...be your age,' added Vinita, a slight bit of bitterness creeping into her voice,' It was almost as if I had aged overnight and was now hazardous for the family.'

'God! I was only thirteen! And there were many thirteen year old girls in my class, most of whom had had their periods. Not one! I repeat not one of them was facing the sufferings that I was subjected to. Most of them had sympathetic parents helping them out through the difficult period of their lives..... At least their mothers were most proactive during this phase. And here was I, being made to feel so unwanted, that at times I remember shrinking with guilt whenever the period visited me.'

'I whacked my brains out but could not decipher the reasons for such absurd behaviour on the part of my father. Now that I think of it, I feel it may have been due to some unpleasant happenings in his past. Perhaps some girl in his family or in the family of his close ones must have given him a harrowing experience which left an indelible mark on him. I never could know the reason. Whenever I questioned my mother about it, she would always avoid any discussion on the topic.'

'Once I overheard my mother's younger sister, who was visiting us, talking with my mother. From one part of the conversation I could gather that my mother who had a very good voice and who used to do stage shows before marriage, had given up on her singing after marriage because my father was not happy about it. Clearly something was terribly amiss with my father.'

'Whatever it was, I had to put up a tough fight before I was allowed to even go out in the evenings and was duty bound to return at the first hint of nightfall. I had to inform my father where I was going, whenever I stepped out from the house. This change in lifestyle was very stifling for me, but what could I do? My father was like a man possessed.'

'Anyway good or bad, time moved on and I was a few days shy of sixteen years. One day, after I came back from school, my mother informed us that a new family had moved in the house opposite ours, a house which had been lying vacant for quite some time. The family consisted of an aged couple, and an adult son. They hailed from Maharashtra and were friendly in nature.'

DIVINE INTERVENTION

'My dear daughter, I was always an eternal optimist who believed that behind every cloud there is silver lining. And I was about to have the first glimpse of that lining later in the evening, 'said Vinita, a faint smile spreading over her face.

'One evening as I went out as usual to practice my hand at riding the bicycle, a preoccupation that I had picked up newly, after convincing my father that this habit would make it easier to attend tuitions after school hours and that he would be spared the trouble of dropping and picking me up from the residences of the teachers from whom I was taking tuition. I used to practice my cycling in an open field near my house and preferred to do it all alone.'

'That particular day as I was riding my bicycle, the front tyre hit a small boulder, and I was flung off the cycle. It was quite a nasty fall and as I lay hurt and soiled on the ground, I had a lot of pain on my back and right leg and faced some difficulty getting up. Suddenly a gentle voice called out,' Are you all right Miss!'. Before I could respond, a strong pair of hands reached out and pulled me up. Once on my feet, I turned my face to see my rescuer, and my face fell on easily the handsomest man that I had ever seen in my sixteen years of existence on this planet. Tall and muscular in build with sharp features, with an enchanting smile on his face. I stood still, gaping like a fool.'

A glow came over Vinita's face and she continued with her pleasant trip down memory lane, 'The young man appeared to be in his early twenties. He was wearing a jogging suit and had perhaps been jogging around unnoticed by me, when he saw me fall. He introduced himself as Lieutenant Deepak Choure, while I told him my name. His kind brown eyes made my young heart flutter.'

'He walked with me, carrying the bike home for me. The presence of such a handsome man beside me had already dulled whatever pain I may have had. My dear daughter, you must be aware that sixteen is a very tender and vulnerable age for a girl. On top of it, all the restrictions imposed by appa, had made my young life colourless and insipid. The arrival of this man therefore held vast promises of escape from this boredom. I had something to look forward to every day!' Vinita added with a mischievous chuckle, 'But what panned out in my life was beyond my expectations.'

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