Just A Dream?

Confusion

I want to move past
This idea I had last
But it's like this rhyme
Trapping me in time
Trying to be neat and clean
But I'm untidy
Unknowing
Indecisive
Unsure
Breaking my own heart
Before I break yours
Because I still don't know
If I could commit
That year or two
Of being stuck on you
Could've just been the result
Of my own personal issues
A love between us
We're similar in more ways than one
But that's not what I want
At least... I think
No matter what is true
It's what I'll repeat
Over and over again
Convincing myself it's not a problem
Although it still manifests
Behind my chest
I can feel the time bomb
Ticking
Untill when
Will it go off again
Not realizing that
I've already lit the fuse
Heh
Due to these thoughts
What should I do
I can't hold on to you
Not like before
I need to stand by myself
So I'll search for the floor