Innocuous (YiZhan/ZhanYi)

Chapter 4 Wicked Game

Author notes: English is not my first language, so please forgive my mistakes and awkward writing. This is NOT for profit. I don't own them. AU (as in Alternate Universe) and maybe OOC (as in Out of Character).

Author notes 2: My eternal gratitude to @JJSin2020 for editing this.

Author Notes 3: The song is Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Thanks for the votes and comments! They really encourage me.

Their little arrangement was still on when winter break came and went. Bo had tried to be a responsible adult and stop it several times. Every time he and Zhan met, he ended up swearing to himself it was the last time. A series of last times occurred, and after a brief hiatus due to New Year's festivities and a short vacation with his parents to an exclusive ski resort in Europe, their next last time happened after the beginning their senior year's last semester.

Soon he realized he was addicted to Zhan's skin, to his scent, to his presence. He figured out he actually had missed Zhan during his short trip over winter break, he was afraid. What would happen when they had to part for good?

He adamantly refused to think about it. He planned to keep living the here and now until their graduation date arrived. He knew it would hurt, it would hurt so much to part from him, to stop seeing him, touching him. He would miss everything about Zhan. But it was bound to happen, it was unavoidable.

Yi Bo intended to get the most from his time with Zhan. He needed a full stock of memories to survive the rest of his life, and he intended to create them with him, because he had become so important to Bo.

Of course, he couldn't tell him, he wouldn't. Why would he complicate this fling even more? It was so difficult for him to keep his emotions detached from his bodily needs. He would just let his body talk most of the time, but sometimes his emotions tried to override his common sense. It was a luxury he was not allowed to have.

Common people were able to choose their life partner freely, but he couldn't do that. That was a price to pay for being who he was. It was taking a huge toll on him, but it was what it was, and he could do nothing to change it.

Days were flying by and he wished he could slow time down. He would offer years of his life for mere seconds in Zhan's presence. Graduation was approaching fast, too fast if someone asked him. Then, an idea took shape in his mind. It was crazy, it was too deranged to be considered and yet...

He wanted it, he had never wanted that before, but it would be with Zhan so it would make it perfect. He would ask Zhan next time, he was unsure if Zhan would agree to it. He doubted he'd be rejected, but who knew. It would be something so intimate, so unique, a once in a lifetime experience for him. Of course, Zhan had already experienced it, and he could not be jealous. It would be totally irrational because Zhan was not his. He could never be truly his.

*

Zhan was jittery, spring was fast approaching and with spring, the decision from Ando Tadao's firm would arrive. However, he was experiencing an unexpected apprehension. A part of him wanted to go to Japan very much, like he had dreamed since he was a teenager, with wild aspirations, wanting to overtake the world with his own ideas. But another part, a hidden part of him, the one he still had troubling acknowledging, wanted to stay in China.

Because China meant Bo's presence, Bo's scent, Bo's body, and he didn't want to part from any of it. Yi Bo's essence had crept into his very soul and took residence in it, and even though he didn't want to recognize it, he was reluctant to be apart from him...ever.

He knew, however, this was just wistful thinking on his part. Bo would never, could never be at his side for good. It was just not his nature. He knew Bo was a good obedient son, a rule abiding person who would never trespass on any societal laws. They were not meant to be together.