Falsettos reacts to Falsettos ✔️

My Father's a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason To See a Psychiatrist

[JASON, spoken]
No!

Whizzer laughed even louder.

[MARVIN]
Jason, please see a psychiatrist
He's just a psychiatrist
I'll pay the bill until you're old

"See! Marvin agreed!" Trina frantically points to the screen. Mendel just taps her leg.

[MARVIN]
Jason
​Please see
​A psychiatrist
He's just
​A psychiatrist
I'll pay the
​Bill
​Until
​You're old
[TRINA]
Darling please listen
​To your father here
He's not a genius type
Lord knows, but he
​Knows what's true
He chose a man who I
​Think knows the answers
​To all your problems
Mendel understands
​What's bothering you
[JASON]
No
I won't go
I will not go
Never never
Never never
Never never
Never

[JASON, spoken]
Forget it

"Too many voices." Whizzer groans, leaning his head on Marvin's shoulder.

[ALL]
What a mess this is
This family!
Experts can see
This is so!

[Photo flash; they all make faces like a parody of a happy family portrait, then relax.]

"I would pay to see that picture!" Cordelia joked.

Photographs can't
Capture our magic
We're simply tragic!

[MARVIN AND TRINA]
Will you go?

[JASON, spoken]
No

Whizzer lifted his head from Marvin's shoulder. "Wow, you really needed my help huh?" he stated, earning a flick to the forehead from his boyfriend and an eye roll from Trina.

[MARVIN AND TRINA]
Jason, please see a psychiatrist!
He's not—

[JASON]
I won't say boo!

[MARVIN AND TRINA]
—exorbitant
And he's very smart!

[JASON]
If intelligence were the only criteria
Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I?

[TRINA, spoken]
No

[JASON]
Would I?

[MARVIN, spoken]
No

[JASON]
Just because you failed as parents...

"Oof." The hosts wince.

[TRINA]
...Get thee to a psychiatrist!

[MARVIN]
Hey, kid, listen—

[JASON]
I don't need—

[TRINA AND MARVIN]
He needs a psychiatrist!

[JASON]
I want—

[TRINA AND MARVIN]
A psychiatrist!

[JASON]
I wanna speak with Whizzer!

"Woo!" Cordelia cheered for her best friend.

[MARVIN]
Speak with whom?

"Fuck off with your perfect grammar Marvin." Whizzer mumbled, Marvin chuckled.

[JASON]
With Whizzer

[MARVIN]
With Whizzer?

[TRINA]
With Whizzer

[JASON]
With Whizzer

Whizzer and Jason smile widely at each other.

[MARVIN, spoken]
Oh my god

(fun fact; when i finished listening to falsettos, my best friend asked me what i thought the best part was, so i sent her the link to this song, and the timestamp of this next part. she just responded with "valid.")

[TRINA, MARVIN & JASON]
Whizzer!
Whizzer!
Whizzer!
Whizzer!

Cordelia sang along in the last 'Whizzer!'.

[Whizzer kneels between Marvin and Jason.]

[JASON]
Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist?

[WHIZZER]
I'm not sure, Jason
Jason, maybe so
Absolutely, Jason

"Wow, that head flick is the height of comedy." Mendel stated. (absolutely nothing better than that)

[JASON]
...Okay, I'll go

[WHIZZER]
He'll go

[JASON]
I'll go

[TRINA]
He'll go!

[JASON]
If he comes here

[MARVIN]
If he comes here?

[TRINA]
He might come here

[MARVIN]
They don't make house calls

[Whizzer's watch alarm begins beeping.]