Noah's River (manxman)✅

Chapter 14

Noah

As I opened my refrigerator, I noticed that River stole all the raspberry turnovers and filo bites. He left a note in their place: IOU big time.

All I could do was laugh. As much as I'd miss him, he made the right decision. Maybe he'd come back to me some day. I could only hope.

"I can't believe you're so calm," Sariah said. "You've been miserable for weeks, and then you make up with him and he ditches you in the middle of the night?"

Sariah knew very little, if anything, about River and his family. However, she knew I was crazy about him.

"He's with his family," I said. "That's where he belongs."

"I thought he belonged with you."

"Family is important to him. He needs to be with them."

"I'm worried about you," she said. "I have a feeling you're going to have a major mental breakdown."

"No, I won't," I said. "When have I ever had a breakdown?"

"Whatever you say," she said.

Sariah knew me so well. That's not to say I was going to have a breakdown. It was only a matter of time before loneliness set in, a loneliness I had never experienced, not even after I broke up with my cheating girlfriend. The complete and utter loneliness started when River sent me a selfie of himself out in the beautiful landscape of Prince Edward Island. He looked happier than I'd ever seen him. I wished I was there with him.

At River's request, I visited his mother. Medically she was stable and she looked well, but there was nothing behind her eyes.

Baking used to give me enjoyment, but now I just went through the motions, unable to quell this gnawing emptiness. As summer began, my loneliness and depression only worsened.

"What's stopping you from going to him?" Sariah asked.

"I have a bakery to run," I said.

"It's not your bakery. You're very devoted, and you're the one who's kept it running, but it's not yours. Anyway, everyone deserves time off. When was the last time you took a vacation?"

I couldn't remember. "I don't want him to find someone else," I said. "I'm afraid that's what's going to happen."

"Then maybe you should go to him. It's been months. I hear it's beautiful up there. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid. I don't have a car. How am I going to get there?"

"That's your excuse?"

I realized it was a poor excuse not to visit him. I'd do anything to see him again.

"You can't live in fear forever," Sariah lectured me.

"I don't live in fear," I said. Even I didn't believe my lie. I was petrified of getting behind a wheel.

On a rare occasion, I visited my hometown. Maybe I thought Leah or Jacob would talk me out of driving up to Canada. If I didn't have a passport, I could have used that as an excuse, but I had one.

And neither Jacob nor Leah tried to talk me out of it. In fact, they encouraged me to go. They were both so nonchalant about it.

"You can borrow my car," Jacob said. "Just don't crash it or I'll kill you."

"So you guys think I should go?"

"Yeah, you love him," Leah said. "Why'd he leave, anyway?"

I didn't want to get into it, so I just said "family reasons."