Darker Sides Of Me

How I Feel

I was never the type to have my heart broken

I am not the type to get upset and cry

Because I’ll never let my heart open to you

And it doesn’t hurt me to say goodbye

A relationship to me isn’t that deep I must admit

I never really understood the whole in love bit

Someone can say that they truly and dearly love me

And at one time it would have meant something to me

But now it doesn’t mean a damned thing

Now my mind is gone, spinning so effortlessly

And deep within myself, my tears will drown

I’m starting to lose my grip on reality

I’m giving in to my insanity, praying it offers me sanctuary

What’s happening to me?

It feels like my mind is being ripped in half by all of these things

Buzzing around like some angry bees

I’ve strayed from the love

I strayed from the path

And now I am lost inside of myself

You have asked me so many times

What is going on, what’s wrong with you man?

This is how I feel:

This time I felt like it was different

Turns out I was just so wrong again

I was just a victim in this crime

And the regret cut me just like a knife

When you up and walked out of my door

I prayed to God he’d end my discorded life

Now I have this condition

And I have all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what, you will never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kiss?

Was that when you beguiled me to be yours?

‘Cause it’s killing me to let you go

Maybe it’s because we spent so much time

And I know it’ll never be us again

I should have never let you be mine, baby

I don’t know why I’m so sad to see us apart

I didn’t give you my heart on purpose

I gotta figure how you stole

So I can get it back again

My soul is dead, and my world is atwirlin’

And deep inside, my sorrow has died

I am losing myself, inside of my grief

When you ask, what my problem is,

This is how I feel:

I thought you were different from the rest

But it turns out you were never for the best

Then the anger and the sadness overflowed to a gun

And when I pull the trigger, know that I’m done!

Now I’m in this new kind of condition

Where my body is just another addition

To the countless bodies piled in the ground

Where no more will I ever hear another sound

Nor will I ever have to feel another broken heart

And I will no longer play that part

Of being the one who always cries alone

Now that my brains have been blown

And I wonder how I got here with you

How this thing we had was ever really true

I never meant for things to get personal

And the things that you do are making me criminal

After all I did to stay away from this

I hate to admit that being with you is bliss

But what you’ve done has left me broken

Now I am telling you to go without as much as a token

I just can’t let know and I won’t let it show

But I just have this desire to know

Was the love you had for me real?

What was your true ideal?

I keep on bleeding from the wounds you gave

Leaving me with this storm to brave

You will never be the one to send me to my grave

Because it will always be you that I save