"Congratulations, you made it through the day!" ani Erika sa sarili nang humarap sa salamin. She just faked a laugh and faked her smiles all throughout dinner. She's been faking her happiness since she got home from New York. She felt bad not telling her parents about how she really is but she knew it is best this way. The truth will break their hearts and she preferred letting them know when her relationship with Alex is officially over.
Officially over. Napabuga siya ng hininga. Will there be a time when those two words won't hurt her as much as they do right now?
It has been two weeks since she came back home. Two weeks of pretending she is fine. She still cries herself to sleep at night. It has become an unwanted, unhealthy and unpleasant habit. And just like any unwanted habits, it is hard to break. Maybe in time... Hindi niya alam kung kailan iyon. Ang alam lang niya na sa ngayon, hindi pa niya kayang kontrolin ang sariling emosyon.
Well, what does she expect? This is all unfamiliar to her. She never thought this is possible to happen. She never even thought of it. Not even once. Not even in her worst nightmares.
Napayakap siya ng mahigpit sa unan at napatitig sa larawan nila ni Alex sa dingding. They were perfect for each other. Their love was perfect. What happened to forever and always? Napatitig siya sa mukha ng kababata. At pumatak na naman ang luhang hindi pa rin maubos-ubos kahit gabi-gabi siyang umiiyak. She is still angry and still hurting and she might have gone crazy because no matter what happened, she still missed Alex so damn much. A part of her wants to push him away but another part just wants to hug him and cry in his arms. At tila mas malaki ang parte nung huli, dahil pakiramdam niya'y doon lang maiibsan ang paghihirap ng damdamin niya.
What happened to you Alex? What did I ever do to you for you to hurt me this much? piping bulong ng puso niya. At kagaya ng mga nagdaang mga gabi, nakatulugan na naman niya ang pag-iyak.
Tinanghali na siya ng nagising kinabukasan. Namamaga na naman ang mata niya sa kakaiyak kagabi. Naiiling na pinagmasdan niya ang sarili sa salamin. Mukha na siyang zombie. Could you get aniya sa sarili. Buti na lang at Sabado, walang pasok kaya okay lang magkilos-pagong siya. Inayos niya ang sarili at naglagay ng concealer para maitago ang panlalalim ng mata.
Nagulat siya nang pagkababa sa kusina ay nandoon pa rin ang Mommy niya at pinagluluto siya ng paborito niyang pancakes. Tila ba pinakiramdaman nito kung kailan siya bababa. Parang deja vu iyon. The setting was exactly like this during the first time she got depressed when Alex left her without goodbye.
"Good morning, Mom. Wow! My favorite!" aniyang pinasaya ang tinig at niyakap ito. "Si Dad?"
"Nag-golf kasama ang Tito Jordan mo," anito.
Tumango-tango siya. What would happen to their families if she and Alex split up? Don't think about it yet. Just stop thinking, aniya sa sarili.
"Here," anang Mommy niya at inilapag ang bagong lutong pancake at umupo sa harapan niya. Tahimik siyang kumain. Tahimik rin siyang pinagmasdan ng Mommy niya na tila ba naghihintay ng sagot kahit wala naman itong tinatanong. Umiwas siya ng tingin at itinutok ang tingin sa kinakain. Nang sulyapan niya ang Mommy niya'y nakatingin pa rin ito sa kanya, naghihintay.
"Mom..." she groaned in protest.
Napabuntong-hininga ito. "I know that something happened in New York, Erika," malumanay na saad nito. "I was waiting for you to open up but I guess that will not happen any time soon." Tiningnan siya nito na puno ng pag-aalala. "Should I be worried, hija?"
Muntik na siyang mahirinan sa narinig. Kaagad siyang uminom ng tubig.
"Everything's fine, Mom. Don't worry," aniya sabay ngiti.
BINABASA MO ANG
Forever and Always (Book 2)
RandomAlex and Erika were best friends turned lovers. They were inseparable since childhood, and even when they were miles away from each other, distance can never set them apart. Erika thought that falling in love with her best friend was the best thing...
