A Series of Unfortunate Events (A FANFIC based off the Netflix series)

The Wide Window [3]

"Limes," Klaus noted.

"I found two very interesting things in the town market and the petting zoo. One, yes, a great deal on limes at a reasonable price. It's perfect for cold lime stew. The other is even better." Aunt Josephine moved a chair in front of the Baudelaires "Something wonderful. Baudelaires, I know I am a disappointment to you and to countless others. Believe it or not, I used to be a fierce and formidable woman. Your parents and I were more than friends. We were associates, same with Fia's father. We were colleagues, comrades, collaborators, allies, volunteers! But these are troubling times,"

"I know you miss Ike very much," Violet said.

"And I know you miss your parents very much. It's a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It's like climbing the stairs to your room in the dark, thinking that there's one more stair than there is. And your footfalls through the air, and there is a sickly feeling of dark surprise,"

"That's exactly what it's like," Klaus said.

"It's terrifying. But today I realized, with my hands full of limes, you can't be terrified forever. I think I am ready to be fierce and formidable again. And I think we can do it together,"

"That sounds wonderful," Violet said.

"So, can I leave you, children, alone a few more hours? He wants to take me out for a fried-egg sandwich,"

"What?" Klaus asked.

"I met a man, a gentleman, at the town market and petting zoo. He has had a troubled past, and we're going to talk about it over a fried-egg sandwich. It'll be good to have something hot for a change. I just wanted to get a warm cardigan that's flattering to my figure,"

"You're going on a date?" Violet asked.

"Don't be vulgar, Violet. It is not a date, necessarily. It's just two adults sharing quality time together over toasted rye bread and runny yolks. Oh, be nice to him, won't you? Just make small talk while I get my sweater." Aunt Josephine left the room "Oh, Captain! Oh, Captain!"

"I'm hobbling as fast as I can, Josephine." Count Olaf said as he came into the room. "Well, good evening, children. My name is Captain Sham, and my home is the sea,"

"No, it isn't," Violet argued.

"Well, it's...it's a large lake,"

"Don't be ridiculous," Klaus said.

"All right, all right. My home is near a large lake. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance,"

"We've already made your acquaintance. You're Count Olaf," Violet argued.

"Count Olaf? You're just like Fia, bringing up such a terrifying person. Count Olaf! Just as I was working up the courage to go put on my cardigan," Aunt Josephine chastised "good thing we have a sea captain to keep us safe,"

"Aunt Josephine, this is not a sea captain. This is Count Olaf," Klaus argued.

"Klaus, I am shocked!"

"It's true," Violet said.

"I am shocked by your grammar. You can't say, This is Count Olaf. The proper sentence is, He is Count Olaf,"

"Who is this Count Omar? He sounds handsome," Captain Sham said.

"He has the same shiny eyes and the same single eyebrow," Klaus described.

"Klaus! Grammar!" Aunt Josephine chastised "That is an eyepatch,"

"The tattoo!" Violet exclaimed "Count Olaf has a tattoo of an eye on his left ankle,"