To Be (Draco Malfoy x Emerald Black)

XXX

Everything went black, yet I heard the evil laughter and screams. Heard the cracking of the fire as it burned down the field. Smelled the black smoke fly into my lungs; heard the night cry. I want Draco. I need Draco. I want him by me, save me. I can't move. Tell me to get up and stop my whining- something. Let me know you're here and that you actually care.

My head pangs, and I hear a huge crashing. My body and soul feels like it's jerked back into itself.

Get up.

Cedric? I shoot up, and I start gasping. I hold my hands to my head. I then remember the recent events; I gasp and look around to see everything black with ash. Smoke was raised in the air, and the once beautiful wooden house was how dressed up in yellow and orange flames. Flames that laughed and spit in our faces.

"Are you sure that's your daddy? I mean, where's the resemblance!"

Bellatrix's words rang through my head like a migraine. What if she were right? What if Sirius wasn't my actual blood father? You think he would ask to see his biological- and only- daughter.. right? Right? No.. she was wrong- toying with me. Trying to make me weak, confide in her and tell her what all I knew. We weren't pals. And I know she won't hesitate to kill me once Voldemort and his Death Eaters find out of my double crossing. I couldn't tell Draco of this; he would disprove of it. Possibly eat me out just so I can get out of the whole situation.

The smoke burns through my nose once again. I wrinkle it and cough, as I feel my lungs are protruded.

"Emerald!" Harry and Ron said in unison. They were running towards me.

I look up, startled. I hold my chest and feel the necklace was still there. It's warm; Draco was here with me right now. I softly smile.

"Are you alright?" Harry kneels down with worry coating his voice.

I nod slowly, dazed. "Yeah, I.. I'm so sorry, I- this is my fault!" I say grabbing my head. I rock back and forth.

"No it wasn't." Ron says looking back at his house that he used to call home.

"Your house is ruined! Destroyed, gone! Because of me!" I say jabbing myself in the chest. "Oh god." My voice cracks. I feel tears threatening to leak out of my eyes as they burned with smoke and acidic tears.

"It wasn't you, Em.. it simply wasn't." Harry says sorrowfully. That's when I had to say something; what if Bellatrix had come because I escaped and fled the house; she had come to get me, kill me? I shut my eyes.

"Voldemort." I choke out. "Vanishing cabinet. Draco forced. Death Eaters. Dumbledore." I say in one word sentences. My heart felt lifted from the recent lies but it remained heavy as I feel I betrayed Draco. I bury my face into my hands.

"I know." Harry says coldly. My head shoots up. "That's what I meant by Malfoy earlier. Your father- he told me Draco was given the task to prepare a vanishing cabinet to let Death Eaters into Hogwarts. To kill Dumbledore. I suspect Draco is a Death Eater as well." Harry looks down with disappointment and hurt. But he didn't know my plan. I stand up to the best of my ability, wobbling. Harry places his hand on my lower back and I give him a small thankful smile.

"Voldemort came to the Manor. That's why I came here. Draco wanted me gone, he didn't know he was coming. We were ripped out of bed by Narcissa. Voldemort said to me tonight.. my powers can't be ignored. Said I should join him.. I told him I'd help Draco prepare the cabinet if Draco was kept out of the battle-"

"Are you mad!?" Ron exclaims.

"Shut up!" I yell back. Ron retracts and purses his lips. "I have a plan." Harry looks at me with hope in his eyes. "I'm going to help Draco prepare this cabinet and start setting traps; we will all attack at once. That way, we have the upper hand and when they come pouring through they already start writhing in pain. I'm going to double cross Voldemort and keep Draco out of this." I breathe deep and feel a stabbing in my ribs. "Draco was forced into this- his life- I believe it is on the line. He is one of.. them. But that doesn't define him. You should have seen his face when I was there, Harry. He was scared." I grab his red flannel and he strokes my back softly.

"I believe you. Malfoy has always been the one to attract trouble, but I always knew it. All of this is undoubtedly Lucius using him as a puppet; as a way in. I've never taken a liking to Malfoy, but I'll tolerate it."

"He's a Death Eater, Harry! He's someone who killed your parents!" Ron wasn't having any of this. His face was ashen.

"He doesn't kill." I say strictly. "He's not perfect- he has hurt people. But haven't we all?" I look up at him and his expression settles. I look up at the cracking building that was slowly descending into the ground. Each piece of wood that fell, Molly and Arthur seemed to fall as well. The bundle of red heads stood there, in shock.

"I'm so so sorry, this is all my fault!" I cry.

"No, it's not. Lupin was suspecting a visit anytime soon, and that happened to be tonight." Harry says. I sigh. It felt like a relief; but at the same time, something was going unsolved; who was my real father? Why would Belltrix say such a thing, out of the blue? Was she hinting to me? Surely my "other family" wouldn't lie to me about such silly things on where I came from. My mum delivered me to them, fled, possibly died, and my father was in Azkaban. It was that simple!

"Harry- we need to save Draco. He can't be there right now. At that Manor- his- Lucius. He's scared, I know it." I clutch my ribs and hiss.

"Malfoy is a monster, Emerald!" Ron says screaming again.

"No! He's not!" I yell back even louder wincing even more from the pain at my ribs; the yelling didn't serve me any justice.

"She's right. Ron." Harry says flatly. "I hate to admit it, but she is. Look at Malfoy. He looks ill; even Hermione saw to that. And you know she is the most down to Earth person we all know." Ron looks down and shakes his head.

"I get he doesn't have the best history with your family, Ron." I start. "But- but he-" I breathe in. "But he wants to change- is trying to change."

"Whatever," Ron huffs in a reluctant agreement.

"First, we need to start organizing a plan; for when the cabinet is prepared." Harry says. I look up at him. "And you won't tell Malfoy a word of this; you know he won't agree to double crossing his father." I nod once and my heart breaks. I hate lying to him; but I needed to. For his safety. He wouldn't understand in the beginning, and he could hate me. He could hate me forever and I wouldn't regret anything I did for him; because I was going to save him. Save him from killing Dumbledore. He didn't need to do such a harsh thing, all because his father coaxed him to. He could spit in my face and I'd still smile knowing I was the one who rid the burden. We weren't going to let Dumbledore die; and I wasn't going to let Malfoy live in a life full of despair and bloodshed.

I love you. But I can't tell it to you no matter how hard I try. Maybe I will tell you this- soon. Soon, when you're on the verge of hating me forever for taking the opportunity to prove yourself to your father away from you. But I hope deep down you'll see why I did it. I can't bear the thought of you leaving, let alone hating me- but I can bear the thought of you not living with a heavy heart. But before Draco, there was one thing I had to do.

"No. First, you're going to let me meet my father." I say coldly. The thought of calling him my father made the words bleed out of my ears as if I've never said such a horrid thing.