Harry Potter and Addams Family

Year 6

"Whoa, calm dow-"

"I'll kill you, I swear-"

"Alright. I was just kidding, Draco."

"You don't kid when Gellert Grindelwald is involved."

"Apparently."

-.-.-.-...-.-.-.-

Nurmengard was a tall and forbidding fortress perched precariously on an overhang between treacherous ravines. It looked like a gentle breeze could blow it over.

"A stick of dynamite'd do wonders for this place." Hermione observed as they followed one of the hulking troll guards to the highest tower. "A little more sunlight, some hanging plants and it'd make a nice country home, don't you guys think?"

"A country home for a serial killer." Blaise muttered. "Seriously, Hermione."

"It does have a majestic view." Viktor said pleasantly. "And when the wind blows just right, you can hear the screams from the correctional facility on the valley floor."

"Like I said, a nice place to live."

-.-.-.-...-.-.-.-

Gellert Grindelwald looked exactly like a one hundred and fourteen year old incarcerated, wandless wizard should look: skinny, creepy and crazy. Crazy enough to shake Harveste by the hand even though they hadn't been introduced.

"You are an Addams!" The thin, bedraggled old man said, pumping Harveste's entire arm up and down. "I would know the look of your Family anywhere!"

"It is very nice to meet you at last, Mister Grindelwald. Cousin What has told me all about you."

"What comes here three times a month." Viktor explained to a flabbergasted trio. "To feed the spiders."

"So polite! That is the thing I remember most about your Great Aunt Quiemada, you know. Broke my arm in two places and burned my beard off, but in her defense, I had just asked to marry her brother. And then she offered to categorize my toadstools by way of apology, which was no easy feat, let me tell you. And you have a baby with you! What a treat!"

"Perhaps next time. My Mother expects her home after our trip. This is my sister, Lavinia."

Lavinia cooed happily in the face of danger.

"A chip off the old gravestone, I have no doubt!"

Blaise bit his lip to keep from laughing as one of the most feared Dark Lords in history chattered at a pleasantly nodding Harveste. Who would have ever expected that Grindelwald would be a dirtier, more unhinged version of Gilderoy Lockhart?

"Where are my manners?" Grindelwald asked the ceiling. "Please, sit down anywhere you'd like. I would offer you something more comfortable, but all I have is floor. Would you like a troll?"

Harveste smiled. "We just ate, but thank you. We brought you something actually. Cousin What said you liked fresh rat."

Draco looked unfazed by the way his idol, filthy with the grime of ages and sitting with his plate on his knees, daintily cut off a piece of roast rat tail and put it in his mouth.

"Oh, there is nothing quite like rat." Grindelwald sighed blissfully. "The benighted masses may prefer chicken or that awful grass-fed organic beef, but I say there is nothing better than a free-range sewer-grown rat with a glass of Romanee Conti."

"Indeed."

"And who are your friends?" The Dark wizard said with a smile that wouldn't have looked out of place on a hanging victim. "It is so nice when young blood visits."