Way Too Complicated (Boyxboy Romance)

Chapter 7

I got up out of bed and started for the shower before I froze. Lukas. The thought of him suddenly came into my mind. I had forgotten about him for a moment. Was he okay? Did he feel any better? I was tempted to stop by his house before going to school but then thought better of it. He doesn't need me to baby him. He’s grown enough to look after himself. Besides, Dave was probably there the spoon feed him. A weird burning sensation started to rise in my chest. Fearful of the fact that it may be jealousy, I quickly ran to the shower and put the water on full blast.

I hummed several songs in order to preoccupy my mind so that it wouldn’t stray to that little corner where I tucked away thoughts of Lukas. Getting out of the shower I realized that it was really early. I read the time on my phone to see that I was a good 45 minutes ahead of schedule. I guess I can write up the rest of that paper then... but first I decided I was going to finally have a sit down breakfast. Dianne should be getting ready for work at the Salon, and Rick might still be sleeping since he didn’t work Fridays and weekends. So I would get to be all by myself. My mood was slightly lighter as I got dressed and headed downstairs.

I pulled out some eggs and popped toaster waffles in the toaster. While the waffles cooked, I mixed the eggs and some milk in a bowl before pouring it in a buttered pan. As soon as that was done, I went into the freezer to get the bacon that I cooked last week. Then I returned to the eggs and started scrambling. I found some cheese in the fridge and decided to sprinkle I bit on top. The waffles were done so I emptied the eggs onto a plate and put two strips of bacon in its place. The bacon warmed in the pan while I buttered the waffles and micro waved the syrup.

After everything was served in my plate, and sat back with a content sigh right before digging in. The house was quiet aside from the sounds of my fork scraping the dish. It was a nice house. Bigger than what I thought the salary of a salon owner and restaurant manager could afford. It reminded me of the typical “house next door" with its blue shutters, white picket fence, and backyard the size if the living room. It really was the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood. I really had nothing against the house, or my sister for wanting it for that matter. What I couldn’t forgive was the fact that she up and left when I needed her most without so much as a goodbye.

After mom had died, Dad started drinking. And that was when he started getting violent. He would get mad at everything and give a shit about nothing. Dianne was only there the first year before she left for college, but in the time that she was there, we supported each other. When dad was being an ass we would sleep in each other’s rooms and play dumb games or ask stupid questions.

But then one morning, when I was waiting for her to come home from school, Dad burst into my room screaming bloody murder.”Where did she go?!” he kept repeating. I was so confused and then he threw a piece of paper on me.

‘I got accepted to the University, I’m so sorry Nate but I will come back for you. I promise... I love you.’

That was all the note said, and from then on Dad got worse. Or maybe I only thought that because at that time I was taking the abuse for two people. The more cynical side of me laughed out loud in my mind.

“Good Morning.” I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even notice when Dianne bustled into the kitchen still trying to put earrings into her ears. I didn’t reply and she didn’t say anything about it. The only words I’ve spoken to her were along the lines of ‘I hate you’ or ‘Leave me alone’. She always tried to talk with me, but I could just never find it in myself to say anything to her. Not after she left the way she did.

My appetite was suddenly gone when her boyfriend rick came in after her. “Why can’t you at least be polite and greet people?” He asked, clearly annoyed. Rick was a challenge. I tried to like him at first but he hated me because of the way that I treat my sister. He tried to get me to be nice, or talk to her, and the majority of the time, I just wanted the guy to leave me alone.

“Rick, no.” my sister said simply.

“’No’ what Danni? Doesn’t it get under your skin when he acts like a brat like that? He can at least have some manners and be polite. Or did your mom not teach him that?”

That was when I lost it. When it comes to Rick, I try my best to ignore him. But when anyone brings my mother into any conversation in a negative sense, there is no way I will just sit and take it.

I took him by surprise when I shoved him into the counter. He winced and was advancing towards me when Dianne stepped in between. “Don’t you dare! How could you say something like that?” I didn’t stay long enough to listen to Dianne continue to reproach Rick. I stormed out of the house, bag in hand.

I pulled out my phone to check the time. 7:05. Jay should be here by-

My thought was interrupted by honks sounding behind me. I recognized the black dodge intrepid instantly and jumped into the passenger seat.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Jay asked simply as soon as I shut the door. I was expecting this. After he picked me up yesterday, I hardly said a word to him and basically left him in the dark about why I wasn’t in the rest of my classes, didn’t go to wrestling and why he had to pick me up. If there was one thing I know about Jay it was that he will always be curious about anything. He always managed to get almost every single piece of information out of me other than... well the obvious. I look over at him, contemplating. How much exactly can I tell him? Surely not the part about how his eyes can send my heart into erratic guffaws. Nor could I say anything about his dream because that wasn’t my information to tell. But what if he wanted to know more? “Well?” he asks, getting impatient.

With a huge sigh, I look forward. “Drive and I’ll talk-” The car lurched forward before I even finished my sentence.

“Go ahead then.” Jay says, eyes glued to the road. And so, I begin and tell him everything being sure to leave out my own emotional reactions and Lukas’s private information.

By the time that I finish, we are pulling into our usual spot in the school parking lot. “Bro,” That’s Jay’s usual intro to his retorts after he’s been told a load of good information. “That is some serious stuff. And the dude’s okay?” I nod and he continues. “Well first, I think you should visit him to make sure he’s fine; and bring something like soup or tea,” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. That was the last thing I thought I should do. “But what about you? Do you want to report it?”

That was a good question. “I don’t think it’s my dirt to report. I don’t want to do it and have him be pissed at me for telling officials things that he wasn’t ready to tell yet. I would rather convince him to do it.”

He nods understandingly. “Then visit him and talk. Next, are you sure you’re fine? I mean you did all of that yesterday...” I laugh out loud. I was not okay in the slightest but there was no way I could explain that to jay.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I lied. “Just a little stressed because I didn’t finish that paper for English.” he nods again and starts to get out. But then leans in before shutting the door.

“Last thing,” I didn’t see him raise his hand until it had connected with the back of my head.

“Wha-?!”

“You can’t possibly blame yourself for anything that happened yesterday. Yeah, you have emotions and all that shit but it was all really out of your hand. So just get that though out of your mind.” He shuts the door and just leaves me in the car stunned. It was moments like those that made me remember why I liked Jay as a friend so much. He was a great, funny guy overall, but he always gave good advice and listened to what you have to say with no judgment at all.

As soon as I get out, I find myself looking for Lukas’s car. I don’t see it but talk myself into believing that he could be at the other parking lot on the other side of the school. What was I hoping for anyways? He had flu with a fever of 103 degrees yesterday and passed out several times. Not to mention he may not be emotionally prepared to even want to deal with people yet. I shake my head and walk towards our group of friends. If anything, if he were to come to school, I should drag him back home and sit him on his couch.

Are you gay? The question he asked me last night suddenly pops into my mind. “No.” I groan without thinking. I freeze when there is a pause in everyone’s movement. “I forgot about my paper.” I say lamely to cover up my outburst. They all make a ‘pfft’ sound and continue on with themselves.