Tonpa X Reader

Add this to your favs to avoid tax fraud

Tonpa belched loudly. He had just eaten an entire beef onion stew, and boy did his breath STINK. He fanned out the air around him wishing he had a mask to protect him from the onion virus. 🙄
You took a whiff of his ass smelling breath in and sighed in pleasure. It was truly a glorious scent. You could feel your nose hairs shrivel up from the stench making it easier to breathe in more.

"Shit i left the pink cinderella flip phone in the virgin bus." Tonpa eyed you curiously. He was jealous of your hujass and huge matching plastic tiddies.

But suddenly tonpa smirked. Your tiddies were nothing compared to his almighty ones. He was taking up half the room- no- the ENTIRE room with just one massive tit, leaving the rest of the hunter exam participants huddled up in a corner trying not to get nippy swabbed.

"damn Tonpa so dummythicc i might have to tax him." Hisoka said. Gon had a confused look on his face.

Illumi was so mortified by the ZZZZ cup tiddies, his pins gonna burst out of his head any second now.

You were sad and reeked of virgin. Maybe daddy tonpa will take in your stinky ass but you better pray he's been gonna see you through that turbo roadroller nokia type of tit.

You wanted nothing more than to reach over and squeeze his babas. He so thicc, his thighs could crush the entire solar system.

Being the weird ass creep you were you reached over and groped his tibbie folds. As expected, your hand blew off the face of the earth marking you unworthy of the fatty.

"Get your virgin hand off me." He said chugging his expired orange soda

Tonpa would never admit how he secretly liked it, smirking to himself as he watched you run around in circles panicking over your missing arm.

"HISOKA YOU CLOWN, YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TOOK IT it would hurt less :( "  You hissed. Hisoka rolled his eyes and told you to "go take a fucking shower you virgin" 😀.

The exam instructor with the hella long legs and finessed ass hair came out. He took one look at tonpa and his eyes almost melted to the back of his head. How y'all were not blind from being so close to Tonpa was shocking.

"Yo leorio I think you chose the wrong year to become a doctor." Kurapika shuddered, still mesmerized by them massive AA batteries. You obviously didnt learn your lesson. Like a fly attracted to light, you were attracted to Tonpas hot 5000lb fit in-shape body.

The hairy, sticky white toenail mold. The white crusts at the side of his mouth. His eyeball hair. His raw beef flesh flavoured onion breath... and don't even start on the thighs that could collapse the entire site with just a squat. His one month old underwear...ugh everyone bouta start doing the debby ryan over the sweat trapped in his belly folds.

Finally after a long time it was time for the first part of the exam. Tonpa started doing stretches and your face started merging with your skull bc the smell was so sweet and natural. Illumi rolled dramatically onto the floor (if you know you know) Hisoka started yelling about bungee gum and Gon killua leorio and kurapika left because they don't deserve to die- I mean what?

Everyone including you and thicc boi tonpa started the jog. The view was perfect. The blue balloons through his shirt would explode a camera so you can't even take a picture of him running like that gaw damn. everyone gonna act up this is crazy.

Suddenly Tonpa turned around causing you and everyone else to bounce into his massives like fucking dominos falling one by one into eachother, your heads exploding because Jesus's is mad at you for being here and taking your time to read this Tonpa x reader fic.

The entire area collapsed and you went to hell alone because you forgot to pay your taxes ahahaha get reckt noob lol fr though, go pay your bills. now ur stuck forever bc you committed tax fraud and forgot to feed billy the dinosaur 50 billion years ago. Even Satan doesn't wanna touch you anymore cuz u reek of virgin and it getting worse everyday.

also make sure your not using your data if your at home ✌️

The end