Becoming His Nuebian Queen ( An interracial romance)

Chapter Fifteen: Telling My Friends

"You? And him? A baby?"

"Thanks for complicating things babe." I replied sarcastically.

"Whoa. Whoa. You the big 'I'm not going to have kids and I don't care about the Interracial law is pregnant with a mutt." None other than the number two man I hate. Derek.

"It is not a mutt." I said.

"Oh you're right because you are already a mutt right. So it is leaning more to the prevaliged side and so are you. Once you get married to his highness you will forget everyone here including dear old sally." He said.

"Guards!" Lazaras yelled.

Instantly two tall men lifted Derek off the ground and took him away. I along with everyone else stared in shock. 

"Anyone else would like to offend my future bride and your future Queen? No? Fine. Now I have made a declaration. Let it stretch wide throughout my lands. Anyone who has thought I'll of secret will be sentenced to death with no trial. Secondly interracial marriage is no longer banned. I have spoken." He said and pulled me to his side.

He lead me to the back gesturing for everyone else to do the same.

"Pregnant Secret?" Sally asked.

I shrugged uneasy. this pregnancy must be having an affect on my hormones.

"It kinda happened." I said softly.

"How does something g like this kinda happen secret?"

"It was a vulnerable time and well..... One thing lead to another and then they kept leading to the another and then I wounded up pregnant with the kings baby." I explained.

"Ha. Sounds like a title of a book. Pregnant t with the kings baby. Don't you think chance. What are you thinking. This is still a time of racism. He may be king and he may be able to keep you safe but there will always be some on trying to kill you." Cherry said.

"Look I can't take it back. It happened and im  not so sure I want it to be reversed or taken back." I groaned out.

Sally gasped.

"Are you-Are you in love." She asked.

I looked away not wanting to admit such a stupid thing yet the thought doesn't sound  stupid anymore. damn it what did he do to me.

"Oh my god you are." She said.

"I don't know what I am OK. I'm just going with t flow and right bow the flow is to stay with him and have this baby." I said

"You must love him if you are thinking like this." She said.

I looked at her. Maybe i did and maybe I didn't. Who knew. All this was coming so hard. It was so much easier at the castle when they didn't know but now I was here having to explain myself to them. i was a grown woman. I didn't have to explain myself to anyone.

"Only time will tell." I said and let it go like that because it was true.

Love was such a small thing. A small emotion that couldn't be taken seriously. You could love today and hate tomorrow. It was never long lasting unless it was true. And how many people thought they had true love. But then again it was a little too late for me to be talking about such things wasn't it.

I mean I was pregnant with the next ruler of this kingdom. A mistake that cost me a lot for better of for worse. and i don't know why But i have this nagging feeling in my head that keeps telling me negative thoughts. Negative things run through my head. An I kinda feel as though things will get worse before they turn better.  Was I making a mistake b letting him into my heart? Having thins child? his child which like me would have a hard time getting along. Could I love?

That was the real question. I had such a lack of love. Could I love this child so that they would not end up like me. Nonchalant. not caring. Or will I be and even worse parents then my own. I cant help feeling that I will neglect my child and lord forbid it was more than one. What If i was not a good mother . I think this was what was really getting me.

I wanted the world for my child. And Lazarus could give that to him or her. He seems so happy right now but how long will this last. Emotions were so temporary that they changed as the season changed every year. As time changes every day. As the years go by. They change. And I fear. Yes i fear. But I fear that he and his feelings will too.