Gone.

"I really did lose everything didn't I?"

Eyes busting open in a flash; the plush foam of the mattress that was now inundated with the collection of my sweat from the night enclosed my petite frame, as my hands tightly clutched the blush toned duvet. The sheets fell off of my frame as I slowly sat up, trying to gauge the horrific nightmare that invaded my restful slumber. The pieces of the nightmare that come back are only vague, but it was enough to bring a few tears to my crust-filled and crinkled eyes. The whirring of the alarm still rang softly buried underneath the pillow, reminding me it's time to get up.

I forced my tired body to leave the cold sweat-pool of my sheets, and made my way to the kitchen. Sauntering down the wood-floored hallway, my feet were pierced by it's frigidness from the recent change of weather. It's getting colder. As I continued walking, I passed by numerous picture frames from throughout the years. Before I knew it, I froze at one particular photo, recollecting the moments leading up to the goofy poses and precious smiles that flooded all three of our faces. It was a pleasant and fairly arid day during the past summer, and it was one of my close friend's 18th birthday. After she blew out the candles, we surprised her and smeared birthday cake on her face. Of course, that resulted in each of us having cake slathered on our faces after a full on cake fight full of laughs and cheeky grins. We took a final celebratory photo of the night, and it was framed as a memory. It was just one of our many nutty adventures before parting to become college freshmen. I let out a soft chuckle and finally made it to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, I was joyfully greeted by my mother who was dressed in what seems to be her favorite white and grey striped shorts, and the long sleeve button down pajama shirt to match; simultaneously, my nose was being rushed by the redolence of a conglomeration of bacon, eggs, and pancakes, my favorite combo. She knows me too well. The sparkle of her chestnut colored eyes, and her skin a smooth complexion of dark chocolate that reminded me of the galaxy itself, with all of it's stars that make it distinctively dazzling. What would I ever do without her? It was only a passing thought, but it would be reality when I move into the dorm of my dream university.

After a long day of being able to enjoy a delicious breakfast and ostensibly never ending studying, it was about time to head to the party one of my acquaintances invited me to. I was never really familiar with them, but they are a friend of one of my close friends of whom I know is a good person, so I didn't think too much of it. There's no harm in having a little fun before school starts, right?

I decided to wear my favorite plain white short sleeved crop top, with fitted high waisted light denim jeans to accentuate my dainty, hourglass waist. I paired the outfit with an oversized mustard yellow cardigan to match the attitude of the approaching fall weather; accessorizing with my thin gold bracelet that ends with a heart and gold hoop earrings to match; ending with a simple design of pure brown boots with a 1.5" heel. The drive to the party was fine. I felt comfortable driving, as I had spent copious hours of driving practice in all types of weather. At this point, driving felt as natural as breathing.

Overall, the party was a blast. I met some new people, reconnected with old friends, and played a few video games like "Among Us", "Fall Guys", and a few JackBox. To my surprise, they had alcohol there. It was a little unexpected considering we're not of age. Nevertheless, I did have a couple of drinks. I wasn't going to at first, but it seemed to be a normal thing so I followed suit. Besides, what teenager doesn't do a little bit of underage drinking? I just wanted to enjoy myself a little before college started. It hadn't dawned on me that I shouldn't have drunken anything as I would be driving myself home, but I'm comfortable driving. I don't feel too drunk anyways.

After the party, me and my newfound friends departed and said our goodbyes. I stumbled a little bit over my steps, and my vision appeared to be slightly blurry, double vision almost. I sunk into the cushioned nylon fabric of my car seat, exhausted from the happenings of the party. I enter my key into the car, hearing the low rumbling of the engine. The dinging from the lights signified my car was on and warmed up to go. A couple minutes of driving on the highway home pass, when suddenly I was overwhelmed by unbearable pulsating sensation in my head. I knew I couldn't just stop on the highway since I'm surrounded by so many other vehicles, so I decided to grind my teeth and bear with it. Maybe playing some music will distract me? It was one thought that could hopefully help make the drive home a little easier. With my left hand on the gray microfiber leather-like material of the steering wheel and foot firmly pressed on the gas pedal, I glanced over for what on the surface felt like a quarter of a millisecond, to reach for the white panda-themed phone case that stood out like a quartz amidst the dark void that filled my car. In that quarter of a millisecond, I heard what started as a reticent beep, turn into a boisterous honk. Before I could fully look up, another car had met with the face of mine. What was once a beautiful vibrant shade of beige of a Malibu Max that seemed frail against the contrast of the other larger cars, was now flipped over on its head on the wrong side of the road; the head was totally smashed in, and the windows were in shatters sprawled across the hard concrete. The last thing that could be heard was the start of a screech, only to be paused in the middle so abruptly, as if it could be paused like it was a recording on a tape. From the outside, there was no sign of life to be seen in the car. No movement, no noise, nothing; silence and an alarming sense of gloom filled the air. Eventually, ambulances carrying several people on a stretcher and police cars blocking off the area with caution tape filled the scene. There were several people on stretchers, but I wasn't there. Where was I? I saw the accident from a distance and questioned why no one saved me from the car yet. I made several fruitless attempts to tell them I was in there and alive, but nothing could be heard. After all, I'm still alive aren't I?

Right?

...Right?

Right. That was it. It struck me like a bullet, and anguish filled my heart. I was gone.

That would explain why out of the few people that were at the scene who were crying and coated in blood, there was an older woman who looked to be in her sixties, hysterically asking for her son to come back.

I killed him. The moment I went to the party, and made the decision to drink and drive home by myself, I ruthlessly killed him like a stone cold murderer; with no mercy, nor a chance to have his future. He looked to be like me. Youthful, once bright and colorful, probably full of aspirations. Perhaps he also wanted to go to college, and had things he wanted to accomplish as well. I was brought out of thought when the frail, and now feeble woman was on her knees, hands cupping her face that muffled the shouts of her cries. I truly realized what I have done, and I was horrified. What would my mom think? My friends? The reminiscence of today's events played back in my mind.

"...we surprised her and smeared birthday cake on her face"

"We took a final celebratory photo of the night"

" I was joyfully greeted by my mother...my nose was being rushed by the redolence of a conglomeration of bacon, eggs, and pancakes, my favorite combo. She knows me too well."

" ...and her skin a smooth complexion of dark chocolate that reminded me of the galaxy itself, with all of it's stars that make it distinctively dazzling. What would I ever do without her?"

In a moment, I was standing besides the carnage of what used to be my car. The only thing that raced through my mind was who I was and the outcome of my decisions. I knew I messed up and made a mistake, but it was the kind of mistake that will leave a lasting, unfixable impact on not just me and my friends, but to the victim and his family. There was no fixing this. Before I had to say farewell for good, the last thought that filled my mind as I looked at my now lifeless body in the car was

"I really did lose everything didn't I?"