Life As I Know It

Ch. 3

  The end of the day couldn't have come sooner. I rush out of the school's door, only to slow down when I hit the side walk; when I am finally free from Hell.

  Conner Black was in half of my classes, and he felt the need to stare blatantly at me through each and every one of them.

  I begin my walk home slowly, trying to elongate my fifteen minutes of silence in any way possible. I stare at my black tennis shoes, trying not to think too much. I'm afraid that if I think, I'll only be able to think about him. Or worse, I'll only be able to think about her. I don't need to think right now, so all I think about are my feet hitting the pavement. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.

  As I continue to walk, I start to hear another sound over my tapping feet and I get an overwhelming sense of deja vu. I turn my head only to see the last person I ever wanted to see riding his blue bike right towards me. I look back at my shoes, hoping beyond hope that he didn't notice me. But of course he noticed me; he was looking at me the whole time.

  "Hey," he says, when he reaches my side.

  I don't look. He isn't there. There is no Conner Black, there is no Conner Black.

  He speaks, breaking my spell of ignorance. "I know you can hear me."

  I finally look at Conner Black and find him flashing me an achingly beautiful smile that I want nothing more than to slap off his horribly beautiful face. It should be illegal for one smile to make you feel so good.

  "I'm Conner, by the way." Like I didn't already know.

  I look away again.

  "This is usually when you tell me your name, now." Like he didn't already know.

  I stop walking, causing Conner to skid to a stop beside me. "Look, I have five brothers and only ten minutes before I get home and have to deal with all the noise they can make. I would appreciate it if you could be quiet until then." I pause looking at his annoyingly amused expression, before asking another question that is on my mind. "Why are you even going this way, anyway? Are you following me or something?"

  He chuckles lightly, a sound so beautiful, it could make angels faint. "Or something," he says. I give him a quizzical look making him smile reassuringly. "Relax, I live this way."

  "Great." The sarcasm in my voice as I once again begin walking is so obvious, but Conner just ignores it as he begins pedaling silently by my side.

  I walk beside Conner in silence, and it's almost... comfortable. Whenever I was around Kat and her friends we never had silences like these. On the rare occasion when one of them wasn't talking, I always felt the need to say something. But, this, this is not like that. This... is almost nice.

  With a shake of my head, I dismiss this thought. I shouldn't feel this way around Conner. I don't need him. I don't want him. He reminds me too much of her. I don't need that, not again.

  But something in me still wants him beside me. Because as much as he looks and, occasionally, acts like Kat, there is something different about him. Something that Kat never had. Something that I can't place.

  I sneak a peek out of the corner of my eye at Conner. He is pedaling along beside me, a slight smile on his face, like he doesn't have a care in the world. He looks over at me, perhaps feeling my gaze on his face, and I quickly whip my head in the other direction. I hear Conner chuckle at me, and I'm pretty sure my face is about the same color as a fire truck.

  I try to ignore the fact that I was just staring at Conner Black, and I also try to forget that he caught me.

  I know that I said once that I wanted someone to see me. But I didn't mean someone like Conner Black. He acts like he knows me so well, when he doesn't know the first thing about me. But maybe that's a good thing... He doesn't know about Kat and he doesn't know what happened six months ago. He doesn't know about me. This could be a good thing...