Joan Undone

Chapter 26

One part of the interview stayed with me, but I pause and consider my words for once, examining his sneakers, which he's covered with equations that Flo was teaching us in the clinic. "You said that your dream was to become a doctor, but you won't attend medical school until Throwbacks can. I hope you didn't decide that because you knew being a doctor was my dream too."

"That's only part of it. Because of my notoriety, I'm in a position to make a real difference, and I'm finally figuring out how to do that. I can be a voice for Throwbacks in forums where only Evolved are heard. Being a doctor, like I dreamed about as a kid, would be selfish."

"I think that's a mistake," I say, so low it's almost a whisper. "You should have your dream, Justus. You deserve it. Go to an Evolved school, save lives. Don't let this mess take over your life."

"Like it took over yours?" he asks.

"I don't have the choice to go to medical school. You do. You've paid your dues your entire life. But you rose above your anger and pushed yourself to be the best version of you. Now, enjoy the perks of being Evolved. It's what I'd do in your place."

Justus's eyes are warm when they meet mine. "No, you wouldn't. But thank you for trying to convince me you would. It's not a sacrifice to give up my little dream for a bigger dream, the dream of my people. And best of all, it means that I'll be by your side."

I can't breathe.

"I'm really tired, Justus."

"You are?"

My throat is clogged with words I can't say, so I stay silent.

The bed creaks as Justus stands up. "Sorry for keeping you up, Joan. Good night."

The door closes softly behind him, and for the last time, I allow myself to wallow in my teenage drama, yearning for a wish that can never be granted.

~ ~ ~

"Are you sure this dress isn't overkill?" Marie asks, wobbling in the high heels Lady Cleo is making her wear to her meeting at Strand.

She is getting ready for her encounter with Al, which is set for this afternoon. It's too soon for my liking, but Sun insists that delaying the return of Strand's data will jeopardize any chance of escaping direct confrontation with an organization with far deeper pockets than ours.

"Oh, it'll kill, all right," Nic teases, his mood still buoyant after our date the night before. "Poor Al. One look at you, and his mind will be a blank screen for you to code whatever you want on."

Marie groans.

"Your look is subtle," Harriet says, giving Nic a dirty look. "Nothing you wear is going to convince him to lie for you. That's up to you."

"But you're prepared," Sun adds. "The talking points we have given you will not fail."

Sweat beads Marie's forehead, and Justus notices her distress.

"Do you know why I'm sure that you can do this, Marie? Because all you have to do is fall back on being yourself. I've seen Al with you, and he likes the person you are. He cares what happens to you. And if anything goes wrong, I'll be with you, and we have a foolproof plan to get out of there safely."

"I should go, too," I say, for the hundredth time, even though everyone has stopped listening to me.

"You are coming with me," Elizabeth reminds me with a glare. "It's time to stop screwing around with Strand and remember our primary goal. Taking Crew down."

"We want out of there," Sacajawea adds, and Elizabeth shoots her a hard look.

I'm taken aback by the vulnerability in Sacajawea's voice. "Is it getting too dangerous for you? Is it time to get you out?"