Naegami thing (I don't know what to call this yet)

•||Chapter 1||•

A/N: so I know i haven't finished my other fanfiction yet buuuuuuut I started another one :). But this one is im writing on my laptop so any italics or bolds delete when I copy it onto here so sorry about that.

.

⚠️MAJOR TW id like to put this here for self harm, death, mentions of self harm and suicide, and implied abuse. I'll put another warning once it gets worse just in case.

.

~ Makoto POV ~
 

I woke up in a room that wasn't mine. Where am I? Oh yeah, Sayaka and me switched rooms last night. I should probably head back to my room since it's morning now.
 
Our rooms are right beside each other, so I just have to walk to the next door. But when I open the door, Sayaka isn't anywhere to be seen. She's probably in the gym with everyone else already.
 
I notice the bathroom door has been opened. I don't think Monokuma fixed it yet, but the handle is broken and the door is opened a smidge. Weird.
 
I should head to the gym too, before anyone gets worried.
 
Once I got to the gym, I noticed Sayaka wasn't there and I was the second to last to arrive.
 
"Hey Makoto!" Asahina said, greeting me, "Sayaka's the only one who hasn't arrived yet. You seemed to know her so I thought I'd ask if you knew where she was"
 
"Good morning Asahina, and I haven't seen her since last night."
 
I continued on having a short conversations with all of my new friends. They all seem like wonderfull people…
 
Most of them were grouped up talking to each other except Kirigiri and Byakyuya who stood still in opposite corners. They look like statues. I'll get them to talk though!
 
I'll talk to Byakyuya first since he didn't talk to me at all when asked him to be my friend.
 
"Hey Togami! Did you sleep well?"
 
He looked at me with an annoyed expression.
 
"What part of 'I don't want to be your friend' do you not get"
 
But- friends are important.
 
"Now, shoo. Peasant."
 
I'll try talking to Kirigiri I guess.
 
"Good morning Kirigiri! How are you this morning?"
 
"I'm doing well, as normal. Is there any specific reason you came to talk to me?"
 
"No, just small talk."
 
"I don't do 'small talk'. I apologize if I come off as rude, but I'd rather not talk to anyone unless it's important."
 
Oh… I guess neither of them even want to talk. They must be so lonely.
 
"That's fine, just don't get too lonely!"
 
"Don't worry about me, worry about that friend of yours. It's been an hour and she hasn't shown up. We agreed to meet here an hour and a half ago. Maizono's the only one who isn't here. Did you know of this? Considering you were late too, you two clearly knew each other before attending Hopes Peak, and she hasn't shown up, that puts you in a not-so-great place under the current circumstances."
 
That's right, Sayaka never showed up… but does she mean to say I killed her?!
 
"Are you accusing me of murder?!"
 
"Well, not exactly, but if you are unable to state why you were late and your connection to Maizono, I'll have no other choice."
 
"I haven't seen Sayaka since last night. I was late because I got up a little late and then I searched for Sayaka for a bit until I gave up. And me and her went to the same middle school. We didn't talk but she managed to recognize me so we took advantage of knowing someone and became friends."
 
"With how simply you were able to answer me I'll let you off the hook for now. I'll gather everyone so we can look for her."
 
Soon enough everyone's attention was on Kirigiri, well, almost everyone's. A few students such as Owada, Togami, and Enoshima weren't listening and simply because they didn't want to.
 
"Our classmate, Sayaka Maizono, is an hour and a half late. Naegi says he looked for her this morning but couldn't find her. This could either be as serious as one of us being a murderer, or her just forgetting to set an alarm to wake up. Does anyone know when she was last seen?"
 
I was the last to see her…
 
"I talked to her after everyone separated. She offered to switch rooms for the night because she had a bad feeling about sleeping in her assigned room."
 
"Well then, I guess we'll check Makoto's room first"
 
We arrived at my room. Everyone was scared by the fact that our classmate could be dead on the first day of 'school'. The other fourteen students scattered my room looking for any hints. I'll check the bathroom now, she was probably the one who opened it.
 
There she was.
 
I felt like I was about to pass out. This isn't real. My vision is blurred by tears. I stumbled back, not wanting to look at the terrifying scene in front of me but unable to look away from her lifeless body.
 
"A BODY HAS BEEN DISCOVERED"
 
No. No. No.
 
"AFTER A CERTAIN AMOUT OF TIME, WHICH YOU CAN USE HOWEVER YOU'D LIKE, THE CLASS TRIAL WILL BEGIN"
 
It was only the first time I had heard that announcement but I wanted it to stop already.
 
 I can only hear that cruel bears voice and the terrified shrieks from my classmates.
 
**time skip brought to you by my unfinished homework**
 
Everyone's probably asleep by now. It's 2:00 AM and I can't sleep. I don't think I'll be resting anytime soon.
 
If only I had stayed with Sayaka, reassured her that what happened to her bandmates isn't anyone's fault and that she can talk to me rather than letting out her rage into a murder scheme. I could have helped her. I could have saved her. But I didn't.
 
This 'game' isn't fair. Leon and Junko died because they broke a rule. ONE RULE. And its human instinct to defend yourself, they shouldn't be punished like that. Once again, I could've saved them. I could have stood up against the teddy bear. It's a talking stuffed animal and I couldn't face it.
 
It's my fault.
 
No one would've died if I wasn't so pathetic.
 
And now here I am, doing nothing at all.
 
I've been crying since I got back to my room. Everything hurts so much. There's an ache in my heart from seeing everyone die before my eyes one after the other. My parents, Komaru, Sayaka, Enoshima, Kuwata, I'm sorry. I've never been in so much pain. I just want it to go away. I need to release it all somehow.
 
I look around my room for something, anything that could possibly make the pain stop.
 
Something on my desk catches my eye.
 
Just this once. Just to get rid of the pain.
 
(I'd like to warn you, I may write this a little more detailed than a typical fanfiction so if your triggered easily or sensitive to this stuff, pls skip)
 
I grab the scissors off my desk, carelessly bringing them back to my bed.
 
I shouldn't do this. But just once can't be too bad. Only once.
 
I take off both of my jackets, positioning the cold blade against an unimportant spot on my forearm. My hands still shaking in pain and shock from everything that had happened.
 
slice
 
I can't describe how that felt somewhat relaxing. The pain from earlier gone for a few seconds. Only being brought back to my senses by the stinging pain in my arm.
 
I crave that feeling again. Even if it only lasts a short moment in time.
 
slice
 
Once more. slice. I need it again. slice. Just once more. slice. I'll stop after this one. slice.
 
I couldn't stop. I didn't realize how long this went on for until I felt blood drip onto my legs. I was brought back to the unescapable reality. My head started spinning as I realized what I just did.
 
I need to talk to someone, anyone.
 
I knocked on doors, none having a response so I rushed to the next. I wasn't paying attention at all to whose door I was knocking, but it didn't matter.
 
"Who's there and what do you want"
 
Someone's awake. The door in front of me opened. I could tell who it was, but his face was covered by the darkness surrounding him.
 
"H-hey. Y-you're t-the only one a-awake a-and I need help…"
 
"Fine. What do you need."
 
Togami isn't as cruel as he usually is. And based on how he's responding I'm assuming he hasn't seen what I look like right now. My eyes are red and puffy, my left wrist is covered in blood, and I'm shaking so much I can barely stand.
 
~ Byakyuya's POV ~
 
I was in my room. Done with everything. Being head of the Togami family isn't fun. I'm under constant pressure, can't make my own decisions, and now I have to go through a killing competition again.
 
I could never let anyone know about who I really am because I've learned to trust no one. Not even my siblings.
 
I can't bring myself to cry, my tears are all dry. And cutting stopped having an affect years ago, I was numb to pain at this point. I didn't have the energy to end it all, either.
 
I feel nothing at all. My life is pointless like this. No one cares for me and I can't care for anyone. All  had was my butler, but I watched him die right in front my eyes. 'Friends will only distract you'. That's what father always said.
 
I've gone against almost all of his stupid rules though. That one I just couldn't risk it, if he found out he'd hurt them. But everything else... I'd probably broken.
 
'always think of your position as a privilege'
 
I wish anything but to be head of the Togami Conglomerate.
 
'you are important to this company, make sure that no harm comes to you in anyway'
 
Based on the loads of unhealable scars all over my body, not a chance for that one.
 
'Homosexuality of any sort is prohibited'
 
Yes, I, in fact, broke that one.
 
'Any sort of drug or alcohol consumption will never happen'
 
I've broken that too. Not as it sounds though, just prescribed medication for my mental health.
 
My father would freak if he found out about any of these, maybe even goes as far as to kill me. I could go on forever with more and more rules I'd broken, but I heard a knock on my door.

I don't want to get up. I don't want to live either but here I am, so I go to check the door.

"Who's there and what do you want"

I opened the door, not paying too much attention to who was there as I don't really care.

"H-hey. Y-you're t-the only one a-awake a-and I need help..."

"Fine. What do you need."

I don't have anything better to do...

.
 
 
 A/N: ahaha yeah❤ and slow updates bc of school lol