You Will Be Found

The World Seemed To Burn

"Nope," she replied, re-boiling the kettle. "I'm not sleeping tonight, not with you here."

Ryan immediately understood what she meant. "Might get a bit boring just watching me sleep all night."

"Then I hope I stay bored all night," Sophia said firmly, reaching for the real coffee. Ryan didn't have it in him to argue.

Barrett returned minutes later, taking over Sophia's role as watcher while the other woman used the bathroom. She whispered her explanations to Barrett on her way out and she nodded in agreement.

Soon after, Barrett was settling into one of the twin beds. She offered Ryan the other bed, but he declined, feeling too awkward about sleeping in the same room as an older woman he'd just met. Instead, he and Sophia stayed on the sofas as she prepared for a long night on suicide watch.

"You really should try and sleep," Sophia said, in a bare whisper so as not to disturb Barrett.

"Bit hard to sleep with an audience," Ryan muttered back.

Sophia brought out her phone and fixed her gaze on it. "I'm not staring at you now. Don't get any ideas; I can still hear you."

She needn't have worried - Ryan was out like a light within the next ten minutes.***

I should be dead. I should be dead. I should be dead.

The mantra hadn't stopped playing in Ryan's head since he'd woken up, his stiff and sore joints reminding him that his body was very much alive - even more so after the first food in days.

I should be dead.

They'd left the hotel in a daze. Barrett had left them at some point, presumably to meet with the chief inspector of the case of the linked young male suicides. Ryan had been left with Sophia, following her around the streets of Newcastle like a lost puppy. Even in his idle communications with her, any semblance of connection he'd felt with her the night before had slipped away.

[Eventually, he opens up to her, and they have a good, therapeutic talk. Sophia talks about her relationship with Barrett and a little about her life when she was in high school - she was part of the most popular clique in school but fell dramatically from grace after Heather, the most popular girl in school, killed herself as well as the two best players on the football team. When Sophia opened up about how she'd felt suicidal too due to the immense peer pressure, she'd been kicked off the team and bullied until she tried to overdose. Barrett, however, stopped her before she could and they became good friends.

Eventually, Barrett rejoins them, and they eat lunch in a cafe. Barrett talks about her side of the high school story, how she'd also been part of the popular clique but had been kicked off for standing up to Heather. It's even hinted at that she knows more about the suicides of Heather and the football players than she's letting on. She describes how their small town of Sherwood, Ohio, and especially their high school, had been an oppressive Thunder Dome that she and everyone else had to fight their way through to survive. In a way, it was hard to blame the popular clique for trying their hardest to stay at the top.]

"What did you do when you got out of there?" Ryan asked.

"Bought a motorbike, changed my name and moved up to Seattle," Barrett said casually. "Went to college, majored in criminal psychology, published a few papers drawing on my own experiences and, well, the rest is history. I ended up marrying a lawyer."

Ryan nodded slowly before turning to Sophia. "What about you, then? What do you do?"

"I'm a lawyer," she said simply.