And Mother Said: "Boys Will Be Boys"

Chapter 1: Let's Go For A Runover Of My Love Life

    Well hello there sexy, this is my very nice and very passive aggressive reminder that all rights are reserved, and don't you dare be that dumb bitch that takes my ideas, please and thank you :) :)
But in all seriousness, this book is coming from the heart y'allll. Growing up I never had a book that showed me female power moves that didn't involve a man. I want to change that narrative, and base this on the main character, Tayla, and how she overcomes such common obstacles. I hope y'all take some notes and remember, be the bad bitch that struts those stripper shoes to the frozen yogurt parlor.
- kisses
Here I am, once again, in the car of a boy that revealed his inner truth: he is too insecure and immature to stand me. I knew it was too good to be true, I mean no guy goes on a rant about how different he is in an attempt to get your attention, and actually stands by every single word. Boys are wind whispers, they throw shit up in the air and expect women to fall for it. Good for them, we do. We like that fairy dust illusion shit, and we gobble that shit down as if daddy issues aren't enough.
    Before I get into this breakup, I think I gotta let you in on what's been going on in my life to make sense of it. In my lifetime, I have romantically spoken to six guys up to now, and never have I been able to pass the talking stage. It's like those sticky strings one sets on their roof in an attempt to capture those pesky flies... except I'm the fly and I keep falling for it each time. In total I have dated two guys, and that doesn't even count because I've lasted longer on a diet than those relationships—let me give you a clue, it was more than a week and a half. Owen Frenzer was the first boy, a mix popular guy that had a very nice and much needed glow up in high school. Man just wanted to fuck, but being my naive and very inexperienced self, I let him deceive me into thinking he meant no harm. But don't worry, I quickly realized he wasn't it at all after he broke up with me a day before my birthday through text, and he still got me a present. I quickly sold that gift to my ex coworker and received 45 dollars to spend freely—of course at the expense of his wallet. Do I regret it? At the beginning yes, but queens gotta finesse these boys if we wanna get on top.
    The second boy is the one sitting next to me currently in a dark car: Jasper Phillips. He was the perfect boy that came at the wrong time. Everything about him screamed perfect, but I just wasn't ready. You see, literally weeks ago, I had unfinished business with this guy that I had fallen in love with, and me being left on the side of the road from this event, I was not ready for another boy to come and sweep me off of my feet. Did I let this event stop me from pursuing Jasper? Hell to the no. But did it affect our relationship? Hell yes. So a huge fuck you to this whole situation. Now, take note that I had never fallen in love, and this Eduardo Reyes dude managed to make me ache in need of him. I quickly realized I had been played yet again by him when he asked me for a second chance, and I, being madly in love without realizing it, caved in and went for a second run. This run quickly came to prove to me as to why I didn't go for runs in the first place, they sucked ass and I always ended up tumbling down for years because I have trouble confronting my own feelings and emotions. I still think about Eduardo, even when I texted my then boyfriend Jasper hearts and cute nicknames, and I felt bad. But, even though I was not in love with Jasper, I still cared and adored him. So much so that I knew I had to let him go. This whole long distance thing became harder than we wanted it to be, and he became distant and more of a friend than a partner. I would have continued it on if he hadn't changed, but I knew that deep down, I wasn't ready to be tied down, I wanted to be a free single women so bad and I didn't know what to make of it. Not necessarily because I wanted to mess around with all these guys, but because I can't do rebounds. I have to let myself breathe after being with a boy and wasting my time. It's draining. Whoever told my middle school self that dating is fun could shove a corn stick up their ass. Shit's a lie and will continue to be a lie so long as men keep being pussies and running away from their true motives and emotions.
    Now, to introduce you to Eduardo Reyes. He is the Oscar award winning actor of the year for, acting like he wanted to pursue me romantically when in reality he just wanted to fuck. The men and boys in my life should really consider acting careers. Anyways, we meet at my work the day of his job interview. I fancied him because many boys don't know how to dress nowadays, and because he seemed well put together. Keep in mind he had a face mask on the whole time I had my first impression of him, and even when I found out he didn't look at all what I imagined, my dumbass still let him pursue me and I pursued him. I had the original intent to just mess around with him, but this boy knew exactly where to locate my daddy issues and grab em by the nipple and make them his bitch. Weird metaphor but I think you get the gist. Fast forward to weeks of working together and then boom, he started acting distant and it just withered away. He liked to blame me for the distance between us, joking around to see if he got could get anything out of me. He didn't. I said I was done with him romantically, being okay to be his friend, but that quickly changed when I sat in his car after our shift, in the dark, in front of my house, when he grabbed my cheek in hopes to kiss me. I wanted to so bad, but I needed answers and explanations, I had to make him work for me if he wanted me back. Keep in mind that this dude is an award winning actor, and I, a dumb dumb who hadn't realized that she had fallen madly in love, let him slither his hand on my neck and pull me into a kiss. Manz pursued me for a few weeks, again, and then quickly tried to pull away into friendship because he quickly realized that I wasn't going to give him this pus-, okay yeah, you get it. He dipped from our workplace and left it there, never spoke to me again. It hurt, truly, but I had to wither away form him if I wanted to regain my bad bitch vibe again. This man stripped literally everything valuable that took years for me to built, and currently, I am trying to fix it all. It's like he took away my high heels and I completely forgot how to walk that talk when I got them heels back. I mean, put it into perspective, I was all high up in stripper shoes and now I'm walking with kitty heels. It's embarrassing to my soul.
Anyways, to put it in other words, this is the most action I've had with boys. A year ago I would have continued having no life and scaring boys away because I shut down when I'm attracted to them. My subconscious mindset was that if I liked a guy, act like you don't see them and that'll scoot them this way. Of course, as we know now, that explains why I had been action free and single since my first boyfriend. Although I'd like to be bitter about every single one of these boys, I can't help but be grateful. I mean, even though Owen just wanted sex, I low-key used him to gain experience and thus, I had my first kiss and first romantic encounter with a boy. It was messy, very messy, and I quickly realized that kissing itself didn't suck but that he sucked at kissing, and it helped me finesse all these other boys. What can I say, I really am good at teasing boys, especially when they ask about my virginity status multiple times because they can't make up their mind if I'm a virgin or not. Why it's such a wanted secret, I am not too sure, I guess tight pussy is the it?The other boys showed me what temporary validation is, and although that shit hurt like a bitch, I now have trust issues. Thank you Adam, Irvin, John, Malvin, and Eduardo I am not bitter at all. No, but in all seriousness, it taught me toughness, and how to regain myself back into my self, and stop the dependence on a boy to be fulfilled. I still struggle with that aspect, but I can now identify when I'm being a dumb bitch head over heels for a raccoon looking ass boy. That was offensive, my bad, ant-ass looking ass boys, raccoons have no fault in this. To conclude my overrun of my life in regards to love, I struggle. But the real problem here isn't the boys, it's the magnet, me, that's attracting these god forsaken species of boys.

So here I am, in Jasper Phillips car, breaking up with him because I feel no romantic connection anymore, and even though I feel relief, I can't help but be sad, because never did I expect this sweet Jasper boy to ghost me days later.