The Chronicles of Narnia: The Battle of Calormen

Chapter 8: "Bad weather"

They stood in silence while Edmund let this sink in. Indeed, there was something else from the weather itself, but he couldn't put his finger on it, which made him wiry, so he decided to drop that and instead he asked something that was bothering him as much as the freaking weather but it was something he could get an answer about.

"What's going on Su? You seem out of it since we've come to Narnia".

"I thought it was over" she simply said.

"We are not supposed to be here Edmund. We weren't coming back. This was over" her eyes blazed with irritation.

"But aren't you happy to be back? We are in Narnia" Edmund couldn't grasp the idea that his sister was in such discomfort in Narnia. It was impossible for him to imagine.

"Ask yourself this same question once this is over and you are back in your Cambridge room preparing for exams, pretending everything is normal when two days before you were a king" she said bitterly. "Edmund, can't you see? This won't last, soon this will all disappear as if nothing ever happened. And at what cost? This is a war Ed, anything could go wrong, a poor shooting and someone could die".

Edmund's head was spinning, of course he knew the risks but he never actually stopped and thought about them, like he felt safe like those things wouldn't happen to them and at the end they would go back home as and feel sad about living but that's how it was supposed to be. That was the plan.

"How can you go back from an experience so splendid as it is Narnia to England and being no one?" she asked him intently, her eyes were glassy from all the tears threatening to fall down her face, his sister's face showed so much sorrow that he felt the desperate need to hug her, and so he did. He held his sister in his arms while silent tears wet his shirt. He felt so bad for her.

"You are not anyone. Don't say that Su. We love you, you are our sister, that's who you are, and you don't have to pretend to be anyone else. You have us and we have you. Forever. And Narnia leaves within us as long as we keep believing it is." he spoke quietly in her ear trying to soothe her.

Slowly she looked up at him with puffy eyes and a red nose "You promise?"

"Of course. No matter what" he reassured her. She smiled weakly but this time it didn't falter.

They walk silently to their chambers in the west wing and stopped first in her door.

"Thank you Ed. You are becoming a great man and I am very proud of you" she said sincerely touching his hand and then got into her room closing the door behind her, not before saying "I'll see you in a minute for supper. Clean yourself up." This made Edmund smile widely.

As he walked across the corridor to his chamber he couldn't stop thinking about what Susan said, her words resonated in his head. Yes, it was difficult to go back, he struggled a lot to find his place on Earth, but these experiences shaped him as a person, he had learnt so much from Narnia, he was a better person because of it. And not for a minute he doubt about Aslan's choices.

He had done some bad things in the past that still haunted them after years. It was his forever debt. But he tried to mend it every day and it was because of this place that he changed. He would never regret coming to Narnia.

But he never actually thought how this affected his siblings. He assumed going back was hard for all of them and that coming back was the best thing that would ever happen to them. Guess he was wrong. He was aware of Peter's struggle and reluctance the first time, and Lucy's hope, he knew she never gave up, she always saw the possibility of returning but continued on with her life. And Susan, she seemed to have it all figured out, she seemed to be the one who had adapted the fastest. It was true that their siblings had noticed she was a friend of parties and social relationships. Almost in excess. They saw her become materialist, but he never thought there was an underreason for that behavior.