I wake up suddenly to the sound of knocking, it came from the front door. I get up from the couch and look at the clock, 1:00pm. What the hell is someone doing here at 1 in the morning. I walk over to the door and slowly open it, the cautious person I am, cant trust anyone that wakes me up at 1 in the morning. As soon as I open the door I regret everything. why did I have to open the door? its him, my childhood best friend, the one I never expected to see again. I immediately remember everything. the day he came to live with me, our long talks at night, the days we spend wrapped in each others arms, just wanting to feel normal. I immediately remember why I'm holding the door open and I look up at him. why is he here? he doesn't get to leave and then come back into my life like it never even happened. I haven't seen him in 3 years, does he still think that we are children, cause we aren't. we are all grown up and I've finally move on with my life.
I say nothing because I don't have anything to say to him. I just want to walk up to him and give him the biggest hug I could ever give, but I don't, I can't.
"I know that I shouldn't be here right now and I know you probably don't want me here either but I just came to ask if I can crash at your place for the night?
"are you serious? stay for the night? you've been gone for 3 years and you still think you have a home here, with me, with my mom."
I can tell that what I said hurt him, I didn't mean to hurt him but I cant just let him come back into my life without consequences. he has to understand that what he did caused me tremendous pain.
"I can explain everything if you just give me a chance"
I take a deep breathe and give him the only thing I can give him right now, to hear him out and find out the real reason why he's here because I doubt that he's just here to say hi. I step back and invite him in.
We quietly walk past the kitchen, im glad that hes staying quiet, allowing me time to process. we make our way into the living room and sit down on the couch. I keep us at an appropriate distance because all of this is just to much right now, he shouldn't be here, I don't want him here, or do I? I don't know what I want right now, I don't trust myself when im with him.
Why did I even let him into my house after he left me? I have no idea, and maybe I'm an idiot but maybe all he needs is another chance, I've been given chance over chance to prove myself so why shouldn't I give him a chance to prove himself, giving him a chance to prove to me that I can trust him after disappearing for years. I just hope that he's the same person I knew before.
"Why are you here Brennex? I know it isn't because you want a family reunion."
"I wanted to apologize for leaving you, but if you let me I could explain."
"Sure Brennex, go on and explain why you left me, why you left my parents, the only family you had left, I'm sure that will make it all better and we can just pretend like it never happened."
as soon as I finish what I was saying I feel myself on the verge of crying, but I refuse to cry in front of him. I have to stay strong, at least pretend that I am.
"I'm sorry Atalia, I really am but something bad is happening and I thought that you could help, well your the only one that can help, like you said, I have no one else. I've been trying to deal with something for 3 years and I was scared that if I stayed here they would come for you and your parents too, Atalia, I'm not asking for forgiveness, I don't even know if I deserve that after how much pain I've put you through but I promise that once I figure all this out I will leave and let you go back to the way things were before I showed up, you wont have to see me ever again."
as soon as he says that my heart begins to sink and I instantly regret bringing up his family because all I feel for him is remorse whether I want to feel that way or not. but one thing stands out to me, he is in trouble and that may include my mom and I.
