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Chapter 9

Koishi: You really don't trust anyone...

Y/N: You said they all want to kill humans and they seem to consider me as one.

Koishi: Consider? But you are human, right?

Y/N: ...

Koishi: Mister Y/N? Are you human?

Y/N: Let's just move on, not like we can reason with beasts anyway.

He walked ahead and didn't answer her question. No, it would be more accurate to say that he didn't want to answer her question. She couldn't see his face but it was plastered with a ghastly expression, knowing a terrible truth that he didn't want to remember.

Koishi: ...Did I say something wrong?

She asked herself that question and silently followed his steps, starting to doubt herself as well. What if she was insulting him by calling him a human? Or maybe he doesn't like being called like that? Unlike her sister, she couldn't tell what was on his mind.

Y/N: Once we're out, we should return to the library and drop this there, no need to keep it with us.

Koishi: R-Right!

Y/N: ...Are you alright? You look troubled.

Koishi: I'm fine!

She flashed him one of her many smiles and wanted to see him turn his attention away from her. He nodded and looked back on the path ahead of them, leaving the youkai to fall down in her thoughts.

Koishi's mind: ...

When she looked back at what she did for him, she felt more like a nuisance than anything else. She forced him to fight her in a terrible condition, left him in that mountain to fight not only that Tengu but also the one that was trying to kill him and then forced him to stay awake just to keep her safe. Now? She didn't even remember the way through the bamboo forest and they had to rely on the one that attacked Y/N.

...Her shoulders dropped, she was useless to him and he definitely knew that. The question was why he was keeping her with him, he would have been fine by himself, she was more troublesome than anything else.

Y/N: Doubting yourself?

Koishi: ?

Returning to reality, she saw the man facing her. With not much to hide, she nodded back and waited for his usual comment telling her not to worry and all that.

Y/N: If you have doubts then you should try to be better, strive for the top to make those doubts disappear and if they don't, you just have to keep going. That's what my friends always told me, until the very end.

Koishi: Do you have many doubts?

Y/N: Of course I do, whether I should bring them back or not, I doubt the success of my plan too. In the end, I'm probably just like you, you seemed troubled because of the past and so I am. However, I already paid the price of my fears, unlike you.

He stepped closer and kneeled by her side.

Y/N: You only realize how much you have after you lose them. You have a sister that looks out for you and you seemed acquainted with many others, I say that you are the wealthiest between us. If you doubt yourself, you should seek for others to help you calm your mind.

Koishi: But you're trying to bring your friends back.

Y/N: Yes, trying, I am trying... Yet I still fear the day that I can see their faces again. Will they call me a coward? Will they greet me with a smile? I don't think I'm ready for the result.

Koishi: If they care about you, I know that they will welcome you.

Y/N: ...Let's hope they do care.

He stood up and pointed the way ahead of them, leading to the exit. They could see the Sun up in the sky along with the rest of Gensokyo.