Hessa.

Chapter 10

'Dear Hardin, this is Vance by the way. I know we haven't talked in a while and I know you left but I heard you published a book not too long ago that did rather well. My only issue is it wasn't publsihed with me. I would love to publish more of your books if your open to the idea of writing more? I'm not even sure if you'll see this because i know you cut out all contact with everyone and most people think your dead.So did i for a while but i heard about a book being published and I read it and thats when i knew it was you. I havent told anyone about it because I figured you will come back when the time is right and I know you wouldn't be able to endure not seeing Tessa for the rest of your life so I figured It would give her piece of mind if she still thinks your dead. I know that's a little harsh but she hasn't been doing well. I hope I hear from you soon.' -Christian

Well I obviously don't need to worry about getting a job anytime soon. The rest of the emails are asking the exact same thing from all different publishing houses.

"Hey." Tessa walks in wearing her robe looking fine as hell.

"Hey. Did you have fun?" She sits down next to me and gives me a quick kiss.

"If fun counts as a 26 year old man digging his thumbs into my shoulder blades then yes it was lots of fun."

"Man. Why was a man doing it?" I cant help but get beyond annoyed hearing that.

"Oh it wasnt a man I just love annoying you sometimes." She rests her head on my shoulder.

"What are you looking at?" I click back on the website with the apartment.

"Youve already got an apartment." Thats exactly why I looked at new ones.

"Ye i know but I want it to be our apartment. I dknt want you to see it as just my apartment." Makes perfect sense to me and i font want her saying to people 'im staying at hardins apartment.' Its OUR apartment but she won't see it as that.

"Ok then. Why don't we just get a house instead?" Huh.

"Why would get a house?" I never thought about getting a house. Mainly because me and tess were always so rocky in our relationship before that if we got a house it would be too much trouble to go through mortgages,bills,electric etc.

"Can i ask you about something? It was a sensitive subject before but I wanna know if anythings changed." I dont know which sensitive subject this will be because there were always so many topics that would cause an argument. I nod and she takes a deep breath.

"Are you still against having kids?" Oh god. I take a minute to think about this because i don't want to upset tess but I also havent thought about whether I still dont want kids. I have to admit that the incident when the 2 girls saved my life did change my opinion on how I feel about all kids. When I was seeing tess before the only kid I could really tolerate being around was Smith who still annoyed me from time to time but he was a very smart child. Having a child is a massive deal to me. Theres nothing more I would love than to have little Tessa's running around the house but i fear that I will be a bad father.

"Um, i dont know." Fear of failing is my only problem in this situation.

"What makes you so unsure whether you want them or not." I dont want to tell tess about this but lying won't do me any good. I know that from experience.

"Tess i would love to have kids some day. The thought of having little versions of you running around the house makes me so happy... but I'm afraid that im going to be a bad father and I dont want my kids to experience anything close to what I went through as a child." She moves the computer and sits on my lap taking my face between both of her hands.

"Hardin. I've known you for a long time now and not the hardin that other see. I know the real you and not once through our relationship before did I ever think you would be a bad father. You have so much love to give but you just choose not to give it. I know we are still pretty young and I know it would probably be hard for me to even get pregnant. I just want to know if in the future you would be open to trying to have a baby." Some how and i don't know how she always knows the right thing to say.

"Ok. I am willing to try and have a baby with you. In the future." She smiles and wraps her arms around me in excitment. I know how much being a mother means to her and having her believe in me gives me confidence that I won't be a bad father.

"I love you hardin." She presses her lips to mine.

"I love you too." She quickly breaks the kiss and sits up.

"What." She looks at me like i just committed a crime.

"I said i love you. Are you ok?"

"No im not OK. You said 'I love you TOO'. You always hated when I said that before because it made you feel like i was just agreeing with you." She seems so offended.

"Ok i won't do it again. Besides you should definitely know by now that im not just agreeing with you."

"Please dont say 'too' again though. I don't want that to change." I pull her onto my lap again.

"I love you Tess. Does that make you feel better?" She nods and goes in for a deeper kiss wrapping her arms around my neck and moving her hips against me.

A few hours later...

"Hardin we should probably get up soon.We dont want to waste anymore time than we already have." She continues to draw small circles on my chest with her fingers.

"I assure you that was not a waste of time but you are right we should probably get dressed again." I give her a quick kiss and get dressed for the 2nd time today.

"What age do you wanna have kids then?" What have I gotten myself into.

"I dont wanna put an age on it. I feel like when we both are ready and feel like its the right time time we can try." I think that's fair.

"But what if it takes a few months or even a year before I actually get pregnant." I knew this was going to be one of her worries once I said that i do eventually want kiss in the furure.

"Baby i dont want you to worry about that. When it happens it will happen. I will still love you no matter how long it takes." I hope she doesnt worry about this too much. Besides I think I still need at least another year before I'm ready to be a father and I want Tessa to myself for a little while longer. We are still really young. Im 25 and tessas only 23.

"Ok then. But can we still look at getting a house instead of an apartment." She does that thing where kids go all soft and mushy just to get what they want. She doesnt have to convince me im on board with the idea.

"Ye sure. Oh i forgot to tell you Vance and like about 100 other publishing houses have approached me to write another book. Would you be OK with that?" She nods.

"Ye as long as you promise that i get to read it this time." I knew that was coming.

"Deal. Now can we get ready and head out to wherever it is you want to go today." She rolls over so the blanket comes off her completely.

"Can we go shopping. I want to get something for everyone when we go home." Shopping isn't my favourite activity to do in the world but I would have to endure it at some point while we are here.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know when you want the next one! -Anna