Secrets that Kill (boyxboy)

In Love and Death

"Right now, not even his family is going to be able to come back. Listen, I get the feeling that he's more than just a friend to you, and I understand that you're scared. And we're going to do everything we can to save him. But, every moment we waste, we're losing precious time-"

Nate shook his head, cursing and letting go of Erik's hand. Fuck. He was making things worse. Here he was, holding onto Erik and trying to tell the paramedics what to do when he was the reason Erik was fighting for his life right now in the first place.

"I'm sorry. There. Please...just...take good care of him..."

The paramedic nodded as he and a few others picked Erik up, carrying him into the ER and leaving Nate to sit in the waiting room.

Christ. What could he do now? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Erik was fighting for his life a few rooms down, and he couldn't do a thing to help him. In fact, he'd made things worse, waiting to call till he had and being difficult with the paramedics. He hadn't meant to, honestly. He'd just- he'd freaked out when he'd seen them pull out the defibrillator. Every instinct in his body had gone off, screaming at him to protect Erik while he was just lying there helpless and vulnerable on the floor.

Nate flinched, jumping in his seat as his cell phone went off. He was shaking so bad he could barely flip open his phone to check the text.

What the fuck? Why didn't you text me back? Do you know where he is or not?

He'd forgotten to text Sean after all that had just happened. God, he was going to be livid. He'd probably beat the shit out of Nate for this, which was what he deserved. This was his fault. All of this. He was the reason Erik was lying in a hospital bed somewhere back in the ER.

If he could trade places with Erik, he would have, in a heartbeat. But he couldn't. He couldn't do shit to help Erik. He couldn't take back what he'd done. And he couldn't be back there with Erik right now when he needed him most.

At least, though, with Sean here, when they finally were able to let people go back in and see Erik, he'd be able to visit him.

He's in the hospital. I found him...he tried to-

Nate faltered, not wanting to text what he knew was the truth.

He tried to hurt himself.

Nate waited a few minutes for a response from Sean, and when he got none back, he figured the guy had probably thrown his phone against something and broke it after reading his text. Hopefully, he'd be here soon though, in case they got Erik stabilized to the point where he'd be able to have family come in and see him.

"Nate!"

Nate snapped his head to the right, his eyes connecting with Sean's as Sean stormed into the waiting room, coming to stand in front of Nate. His eyes had this wild, almost crazed look to them, like a caged animal that'd been locked up too long.

"Where is he?"

"He-they have him back in the ER. "

For a split second, it looked as if Sean might totally loose it and start destroying anything and everything he could get his hands on. Bracing himself, Nate blinked as Sean's face went lax, his shoulders sagging as he fell back into a seat across from Nate. There was no anger in his eyes. Only...Christ, for a second, Nate could have sworn Sean was crying. Immediately, though, Sean wiped at his eyes with the back of his sleeve, his jaw tensing as his features took on their usual hardened appearance.

"You're not...You're not going to beat me up?"

Sean blinked at Nate for a minute before shaking his head. "What the fuck are you talking about?"