𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 || rini au

17. i see the light

"humor me then, because i genuinely have no clue."

"i know about you and gina. it's okay."

"what about me and our co-worker..?"

"come on, ricky. i know you guys are talking, she told me."

"no, no, no, nini.." i grab her hand on top of our knees, using my other hand on her chin to tilt her head so she can see my face, "gina and i talked. as in had one conversation about the ball. i pretended like i didn't have anyone because we're undercover agents, but i would never, ever actually be with her, if that's what you were thinking."

"and why is that?"

"i think you know why, nini."

she smiles to herself, eyeing my guitar again.

"speaking of which, i heard you playing that song you wrote the other day. i couldn't say anything then, so i just...just listen. because i mean every word," i tell her, picking up my guitar from behind me.

"ricky--"

"just listen?" i say, giving her a pleading look. she nods as i start to strum the chords to all i want.

"i found a girl i was scared to love hard,

held the door but left her scarred in the heart,

and she's perfect, she's patient

she can carry her own weight,

does she still think i'm the kind of guy to leave our love to wait?"

i look up at nini, who's leaned over paying attention to me with her hair flowing over her shoulders. she's got a confused expression on her face, probably wondering how i got the chords and lyrics. there's still a hint of a smile of her lips, though, which gives me the confidence to keep going.

"because this one girl, she's from my past,

we fell in love but it didn't last,

but i'll be waiting, i'll stay patient,

cause there ain't another way,

they say real love, you can let them go,

and know that she'll come back afloat

so you can say that you're through,

but this song's still for you..

all you want is love that lasts, no that's not too much to ask," i sing, looking back up for a moment. nini's face is still unsure, until i sing the next line.

"it's right in front of you, don't you see?"

her eyes widen, but she doesn't say anything until i'm finished.

"and all you want is this "good guy"

so please don't move on now 'cause i

try my best,

but what can i say?

i just want you to be happy at the end of the day

so shouldn't that be enough for me?"

i finish strumming, my heart pounding with anticipation at all the things she could say. i gently place the guitar behind me, trying not to rock the boat too much. i finally turn my head to see nini's eyes glazed over with what i can only assume are happy tears, both of us waiting for the other to speak up.

"i know i really hurt you, nini. and i'm not going to try and excuse it with all that the old me and the new me bullshit, because there is no excuse. but fate..or whatever..is giving me a chance to be better. and i really need you to give me one, too. because..i wouldn't screw it up this time," i speak up, just letting everything spill out.

"don't chase me unless you're ready to catch me this time, ricky."

"i am so ready. i'm so ready, it's unbelievable, because we're literally on a rowboat under the stars in paris," i laugh. the first few bright yellow lanterns can be seen behind us floating off into the sky, which catches both of our attention.

"look.." she starts, "this is probably a terrible idea. we work together--i mean, we're only here because we have to save someone from getting murdered. so that should stop this..but it isn't. stopping this, i mean. because i think this--whatever this is--might be bigger than that. i think i want it to be. and you're right; you hurt me. in ways i'll probably never get over. those memories with you are terrible, but..i guess that doesn't make you terrible."

holy shit--it worked. i think. what does she mean?