True Light (1)

Episode 3: Possession

"What the hell you doin' here?" Tara asks as I sit down at the bar at Merlot's. My internal radio's turned up loud enough to drown out just about everyone else, but she's only a few feet away from me and her thoughts are always loud. The angriest and the bitterest people do usually have loud voices, inside and out. "Sookie ain't working."

"Too bad, I'd rather her than you," I point out.

"Come on now, play nice, you two," Sam says as he stops by to pick up a pitcher of beer.

"Now where's the fun in that?" Lafayette wonders, coming over to the window between the bar and the kitchen. "How you doin', sugar?"

"Long day," I exhale. 

"Ain't they always?"

I raise my eyebrows and tip my head slightly, acknowledging that he has a point. "My usual, please."

"Mhm, I know the drill." To Tara, he adds, "Think you can put your bitterness aside for ten seconds to pour our friend a stiff drink?"

"She ain't my friend," Tara protests, but Lafayette's already turned away and gone back to the grill. Thankfully, she's on the clock, so she gives me a drink even though she ain't my friend.

By the time I finish my burger and half my fries, Merlot's is closing up. I don't bother rushing out and Merlot's not enough of an asshole to try to make me. I stick around, chatting with him and Marlene and Lafayette as they clean up. Tara ignores us all except to glare at me for being in her way while she's wiping down the bar. I ignore her, since she doesn't ask me nicely to move.

Lafayette's the first to leave, and Marlene a little while after him. Tara lingers, obviously irritated that I do too. With pretty much everyone gone, I let my internal radio quiet.

"Can I have one of those?" Tara asks Sam as he's restocking the beers. He glances at her, then at the beer.

"Uh, I guess," he says, grabbing a couple. "Long as you're ot on the clock. Scarlet?"

I shake my head, "I gotta drive home still."

"Don't have chores to do still, do you?"

"Not barn chores. Gotta clean the house though."

"You think Sookie's getting serious about that vampire?" Tara wonders.

After a minute and a few more beers loaded into the fridge, Sam says, "I think she's getting to know him." He's worried that it's already more than that, but he doesn't want to admit that to himself, much less say it aloud. Like speaking it would make it true, and if he keeps his silence there's still a chance. "And once she does, I don't think she'll be getting too serious about him."

"I'm not sure about that," I shake my head, munching on the last of my fries. "I think she thinks she's already in love with him."

"Jesus Christ," Tara mutters, shaking her head.

"You don't think she actually is? In love with him, I mean."

"I think she's in love with the silence." It feels like I've said that a thousand times, but at this point I'm not sure if it was to other people or just myself. Tara and Sam don't comment on that. What would they say if they tried? They could never understand what Sookie and I go through.

Sam wants to ask though. He hesitates because it's not sure if it'd be polite, if he would be offending or upsetting me if he did. So I answer even though the words never make it through his lips. "I handle it better than Sookie because I accept it. All she's ever wanted was to be normal. I figure there's no point in wishing for something that's impossible, so I found ways to work it into my life instead. Sookie'd be a lot happier if she did the same." And then I add, because I know Sam and Tara will both be thinking it any second now, "And she probably wouldn't be so infatuated with this vampire if she did."