your static voice beside mine

closer than we think

Brisk mid-morning air hits Josh's face as he steps out of the coffee shop, drink in hand. He sits down at a small table for one in the patio area and takes in the movement of the town. He never really was a morning person, but Johnny had convinced him to give it a try. They've been talking more frequently, enjoying each other's companies more than either of them care to admit. It's nice to have someone to talk to without the judgement of them really knowing you.

Without thinking, Josh picks up his phone and dials Johnny's number. 

What is he doing? He's being too eager, too comfortable. He's not going to make the same mistakes he's made before.

Hesitantly, he cancels the call. He gets up and leaves his seat, walking towards his car. He gets in and begins to drive off, almost angry at himself. He always thinks that he's like this. Always bugging people too much to the point where he pushes them away. The anxieties begin to pile on and the negative thoughts flood his mind.

He won't want to call back. He's gonna leave you like everyone else. No one's gonna love you and you'll have no friends and you'll end up-

His phone rings. Johnny's returning the call.

Trying to shake off his panic, he slowly answers it.

"Hey Josh!" Johnny says eagerly.

"Oh hey Johnny. Sorry I called." Josh is trying to sound happy, but his act is two stars at best.

"No, it's my fault I didn't pick up. I was getting ready to practice with the band," Johnny replies, taking note of Josh's faltering tones. "I have some time to talk right now before we get started."

"I don't want to hold you up," Josh says.

"It's no trouble. I'm the first one here anyways."

"You really wanna talk to me?"

"Are you kidding? You're like my only friend right now. Well, besides the guys in the band."

Josh is stunned by his words. He called him his friend. The new definition of their relationship leaves Josh feeling at ease, like all his anxieties are meaningless. Almost like Johnny came and made them that way himself.

So Josh beams as they talk until Johnny ultimately ends the conversation by promising to call later. Normally Josh would be worried about this. But now he feels hopeful. Now he has something to look forward to.

And Johnny feels the same as he plays with his bandmates. That same excitement and hope courses through his veins as he hits the keys on his keyboard and sings the lyrics he wrote through his own blood and tears. But all of it was worth it, at least in that one moment.

If you're still reading this, I hope you're having a good day and thanks for sticking around my friend :))