Iwaizumi Hajime puts up with a lot. Every day he tells himself "this is the last time" and "I'm never doing this again" as he drags Oikawa out of something else he's gotten into, feeling like an overworked mother. And yet, every day, he does it again. It's been years of this, years of making sure Oikawa is corralled, of supporting him, of getting into ridiculous situations with him against his will (but he never really regrets it). One more year won't kill him, probably.
And yet, out of all the stupid things Oikawa does, there is one that ticks Iwaizumi off the absolute most. It's not when Oikawa's offered to model a schoolgirl uniform for some of their female classmates. It's not when he hurts himself practicing too hard. It's not when he gets cornered by a stray dog on the way home and calls Iwaizumi on his cell to come pick him up, "please Iwa-chan every time I move I feel like it's going to kill me".
It's actually the most mundane of situations, which makes it worse because it happens constantly. Every single day.
Oikawa is somehow very popular with the ladies. Iwaizumi supposes he can't hold it against them he's deceptively charming and pretty and he does have great hair and a killer smile. He's tall and good-looking and he works hard, so it isn't like he's not a catch or anything. It's not their fault they don't know him, haven't known him since he was small. They don't know the things he gets up to, how stubborn he is, how hard he is on himself, how much of an ass he is. These are things Iwaizumi knows all too well, as Oikawa's self-appointed and much-suffering caretaker.
And it's these very ladies, the ones Iwaizumi tries not to blame, who irritate him the most.
It's not their fault, he tells himself, it's not their fault, it's Oikawa's fault, everything is Oikawa's fault. Day after day after day, he finds himself having to drag his friend off as he takes pictures with girls, lets them fawn over him, gives them that stupid fake smile of his that catches them all off-guard and makes the situation worse.
Oikawa isn't even good with girls, really. He's only had one girlfriend, and that had been a disaster. Iwaizumi doesn't know how he can be so charismatic when he's not dating them, but the second he actually becomes involved, he can't bother to pay her enough attention to keep it going. Then again, it's Oikawa, and he does things like this, leaves people hanging, charms them and then gets bored and moves onto something else. He's sort of a manipulative bastard.
Honestly, Iwaizumi is a little surprise he hasn't been moved on from yet. He thinks about that sometimes, but never has long to dwell on it before Oikawa's doing something else he's got to watch out for, or wheedling in that voice of his that always makes Iwaizumi grudgingly give in.
Today, same as every day, the girls are at it again, and Oikawa's indulging them, offering to pose for their cameras and leaning down to kiss one on the hand. It's ridiculous, it's stupid, and it annoys the hell out of Iwaizumi. He ends up having to drag Oikawa off, yet again, looking like the villain when really he's saving these girls from something awful, something terrible that he has had to deal with every day since he was little. This kid is a scoundrel, and he berates him yet again for going off and not paying attention to where he should be in order to flirt.
Oikawa's in the same mood he is today, as he is every day. He just smiles and waves and lets himself be dragged along, out of sight, discreetly behind a building.
"You're even quicker than usual today, Iwa-chan," he says, grinning, although it's a different one he gives to those innocent girls out there. "Is something bothering you?"
Honestly, this guy. "Of course something's bothering me." Iwaizumi snorts. "We go through this almost every single day, and I keep hoping beyond hope that it will eventually get through to you to knock it off and stop messing around."
"I'm hurt!" Oikawa's hand flies up to flutter at his chest. "I'm not messing around, I'm giving those girls a life experience!"
"Life experience my ass, it's not something their lives need to experience. Besides, it's not like they haven't experienced it before, I know those girls are repeat offenders."
This time, Oikawa's grin reaches his eyes. Iwaizumi reminds himself to stand his ground, because Oikawa is dangerous, he's stepping closer, Iwaizumi is not going to be swayed-
"Iwa-chan, it's kind of cute when you're jealous."
Iwaizumi punches him in the gut.
Oikawa wheezes but he sounds like he's laughing, doubling over and clutching his stomach and whining about how he didn't deserve that. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes because he hadn't even hit him that hard, he'd barely hit him at all, really, and he crosses his arm as Oikawa slumps against him, head on his shoulder.
"You don't have to be so mean," he whines, and Iwaizumi pointedly ignores the way he's (deliberately) talking against his skin. "You don't have to get jealous, either." Iwaizumi feels eyelashes against his neck. "I've never really kissed any of them before, honest, you know that."
He does know it; for all the stupid things Oikawa does, he doesn't go that far unless it's with someone he's serious about. It still doesn't make it any less annoying, which he tells Oikawa, arms still folded across his chest.
Oikawa huffs and stands up straight. "I can't help that I'm so charming." It's true, he can't really help it, but he could at least tone it down, or something. "And I know what you're thinking, that I could tone it down, but can you imagine how disappointing that would be? And no fun at all."
"It's not fun for everyone who has to deal with this shit," Iwaizumi grumbles, and he's about to say more, to tell Oikawa to stop being such a brat, when there's a pair of lips against his and damn this guy, for real, because what's he supposed to say to that?
It's short, and he's scowling when Oikawa pulls back. Oikawa's still smiling, although he looks maybe a little vaguely apologetic. Iwaizumi sighs. He's too easy on this guy, really, so he bops him on the head once more for good measure before pulling him into another kiss, longer this time, and he feels satisfied when Oikawa relaxes into it. He can feel Oikawa's long lashes against his cheek, and seriously, why is this guy so stupidly charming?
They pull back, and the smug look Oikawa's giving him doesn't really do the guy any favors. "I knew you were jealous," he says, and earns himself another smack.
"I wasn't jealous, asshole, you just have no idea how annoying it is. Now, think about this, what if I was in your position and-"
"I'd kill them." Oikawa is smiling, innocent, but it's not reaching his eyes and even Iwaizumi shudders a little. He hopes he's joking. "I get it, I get it, but I still can't let them down. They're all so cute, you know? Not as cute as you, of course-" Iwaizumi elbows him in the ribs.
Oikawa is impossible, really, and the worst part of it all is that Iwaizumi is basically just like all those stupidly enamored schoolgirls, caught up in Oikawa's charisma and charm, except he knows how weird and annoying this guy is and he still, still is in for it. He still lets himself be talked into doing things, to be goaded into making out behind the gym, to give quick handjobs in the bathroom before someone walks in and he's nearly about to throttle Oikawa for it.
It's the way he lets his guard down, only around Iwaizumi, the way he shows a side of himself only when they're together, the way he's always there with a smile when it's needed and the way he really, truly does care about his team. These small things about Oikawa, like how he wrinkles his nose when he sneezes or refuses to go to the bathroom alone at night when he stays over.
"You know I'm not really going to kiss any of them," Oikawa says, sincere when he's usually not. And Iwaizumi knows it; after all, he's the one who's stuck around this long, who hasn't been pushed away by Oikawa's ridiculously single-minded focus on volleyball, who is there to pick him up when he needs it.
When Oikawa grabs his hand, laces their fingers together and saunters off towards the gym, he remembers, grudgingly, why he does it. Oikawa never changes, he probably never will, and honestly, Iwaizumi sort of doesn't want him to.
