fall apart ( timothée chalamet imagines )

it's okay ❥ two !

"are you sure?" y/bff/n whispered uneasily, as they tucked a strand of your y/h/c hair behind your ear.

"yeah. don't worry, i'm gonna be fine. i promise." you smiled, wiping away your own tears until your face was almost completely dry again.

y/bff/n nodded. "okay." they got up. "for what it's worth, i think that it was very noble of you to step back." they said. you didn't say anything. "seriously. i wish someone cared about me the way you care about timothée chalamet." that made you snort. y/bff/n smiled, satisfied with the effect of their words. "trust me. if the universe wants you to meet him, it's gonna happen. i love you. be safe." they kissed you forehead, got up and walked away. they didn't need to hear you say it back. y/bff/n knew well enough.

once they were gone, you took out your earphones and plugged them on your phone. you just felt like crying some more, with music to keep your company while you beated yourself up for being an absolute coward.

you went through your playlists to find a very happy song that could somehow be juxtaposed with how awful you were feeling.

you found your playlist of french songs. to think about timmy even more. it's like you loved hurting yourself or something.

one of your favorite french songs was a jean-jacques goldman song called "nos mains"; "our hands". it was pretty and it reminded you of timmy. it seemed fit.

[ please listen to it, it's a beautiful song even if you don't speak french :') ]

as you were listening to the song, tears started streaming down your face. you closed your eyes. you brought your knees to your face and hugged your legs, as jean-jacques goldman sang about how special it was to hold hands with someone, and all you could think about was timmy.

sweet, devoted timmy. amazing and wonderful timmy who you couldn't meet that day. an incredible guy whose hand you'd never hold.

and no matter how vivid the image of you holding timmy's hand was in your mind, you nearly screamed in fear as you felt a hand on your shoulder. thankfully you only gasped but you definitely could've yelled after seeing who was next to you. your first thought was that y/bff/n had come back.

but it wasn't them. someone else had come back.

you took of your headphones very slowly. "timmy?" you said, sounding almost dumb because, duh? of course it was timmy.

"i guess." he said. his voice sounded kind of muffled due to the mask on top of his mouth but it was his voice.

"uh..." you literally couldn't come up with a smart thing to say. not a single idea came to mind. and all of the sudden you realized you still had tears on your face, which you proceeded to wipe away quickly. "uh, what... i mean, wh-what are you -"

"well, you've been sitting here with your friend for like half an hour." he said, very matter-of-factly. you blushed. "why didn't you come closer?" he asked. he seemed almost concerned, which threw you off a little.

you sighed. "i guess... i guess i didn't want you to see me as a burden. there were so many people already and... i don't know, man, i just wanted to be respectful, i guess." you pressed your chin against your knee.