Kiwis | Harry Styles

Thirty - Five

"Wait! Doug?! Like Uncle Doug?" Her head snaps up towards me like someone has switched me with an alien.

"Yes. That Doug."

"But him and Dad are friends. That's weird." She scrunches up her nose and I pinch it between my fingers as I let out a little chuckle.

"It's not weird."

"It is! I bet you aren't friends with any of Dad's exes?" Her eyes are wide as she stares at me, unblinking.

"I'm friendly with Kendall and Camille. They've both worked with me on occasion," I reply. I enjoy the company of both women, they're fun.

"Hmm..."

"Why the sudden interest in mine and Dad's love life, huh?" I tuck her hair behind her ear. The green eyes staring back at me are a mirror image of her father, and it makes me miss him even more.

"I - uh - it's Anlon -" she pauses as she pulls my hand into her lap, her fingers fidgeting with my wedding rings again, "like he's my best friend and I love him but I just don't think I like him as my boyfriend."

"Sweetheart, that's okay." I whisper while cupping her cheek in my right hand. My thumb swipes away a tear that rolls down her cheek.

"It's not. I tried so hard to like him that way, Mum. I really did -"

Another tear trails a path over her soft skin and I hug her tight, my fingers brushing through her hair as I cradle her close. "Robin, it's okay. You can't force yourself to like someone -"

"But I want to, Mum. My friends are doing stuff - you know - but I don't want to and I know Ani won't pressure me," she sniffles.

"But, sweetheart, you can't stay with him only for that reason, that's not fair to either of you. You need to be honest, Robin." I run my fingers through her hair, hoping to bring her some comfort.

"I know, but -" she lets out a massive sigh, "people ask me less questions now I'm dating Anlon and I know that makes me a shitty person -" tears squeeze their way out of the corner of her eyes again and my heart twists in my chest.

"Oh, my love, you're not a shitty person. If you were you wouldn't be feeling so bad about this. Trust me. Now what questions are people asking you that you'd go to such great lengths to avoid them?" I reach over and grab a tissue from the side table and gently wipe away the wet tracks on her face.

"I don't know how to answer them, Mum. I just - I don't know who I like. I don't really want to date anyone. Is that weird?" She whispers the last part like a little mouse, and I crush her in the tightest hug I can manage.

"Of course, that's not weird. You're only thirteen. At your age I didn't know what colour shoes I wanted to wear, let alone who I wanted to date. To be honest, dating wasn't really my thing growing up either, it never really seemed to work out for your Grandma Anna so I guarded my heart, never trusted it to anyone and then when Grandma died it hurt so much which just reinforced my beliefs -"

"But you gave it to Dad, right? And you knew you liked boys. I'm not sure who I like. Lots of genders are cute to me but nobody I know makes me want to take that leap, you know?" she sighs. "I thought that since Anlon is my best friend, then it would just work."

"I think a more accurate description would be that your Dad stole my heart. It wasn't really up to me. And sexuality is complicated, Robin, and I'm afraid it's not something I can, "fix" for you." I press another kiss to the top of her head. "I wish I could solve all your problems, but this is something you have to figure out on your own. I can help you find articles to read and learn and you might slot neatly into a single group or fit multiple, your preferences could change over time and you might even decide that you don't want to label yourself at all, your Dad doesn't but whoever you decide you are and whoever you love then that is okay. You're my baby and I will always love and support you no matter what. Dad too."