The Prince And The Rose

18 - Green-Eyed Monster

Natasha hadn't meant to find out about the kiss, but she wished she never had. She'd been talking to Sharon after everything ended and the dust settled, because Sharon had more insider government information than Natasha, and the Russian assassin wasn't going to waste time hacking when she could find out what she needed to know with a few questions. In the middle of explaining something about the difficulty the UN was having with aspects of the Accords, Sharon stopped and looked down.

"Hey, Natasha, could you maybe... Could I have some advice?"

Natasha was surprised. She and Sharon weren't exactly friends; she'd always been aware of and admired Agent 13 for a long time and had occasionally sparred with her, but she didn't expect the blond woman to be comfortable enough with her to ask for advice.

"I could try to help, sure," she said carefully. "What's up?"

"Well... Nobody knows where Steve is, right?"

Natasha had her own opinion on the matter, but she wouldn't say so. Particularly after this woman had the nerve to call Rogers "Steve" as if she knew him. "Right."

"Well... Do you know if he left any sort of message for me or anything?"

Bozhe moi. Natasha fought to contain a long sigh. "Why would he?" she asked, not unkindly, although she was somewhat irritated at Sharon's presumption. Why was Steve always giving women the wrong idea? Mostly it wasn't his fault, but she got a bit tired of explaining to women that no, Steve was not trying to ask you on a date, he was just being too nice. Again.

"Well..." Sharon looked down, blushing, hesitant. Not very professional, but then they weren't on duty. "He kissed me."

Natasha couldn't have been any more surprised if Sharon had said "he tackled me to the ground and tried to choke me to death."

"Excuse me, what?" she said, blinking. "He did what?" She felt vaguely sick and more than a little annoyed.

"He kissed me," Sharon reiterated. Natasha couldn't tell if her expression was more smug or happy. "I didn't expect it but I guess he didn't either, and I just... we never talked after that before he was gone."

Nat fought to keep her expression neutral. That didn't sound like Steve at all. She knew how he was about relationships, and she knew that he had never called Sharon like she'd advised, so why would he kiss her? Natasha would have thought Sharon was lying, but it was obvious that she wasn't.

"Why do you want advice from me?" she said, perhaps a little coldly. She didn't like the idea of Steve kissing anyone else, particularly not Sharon. Not that it was Sharon's fault (she was, after all, a nice person and quite pretty), but of course Steve preferred a blond all-American girl with the perfect life and upbringing to-

To who? You? Natasha berated herself. We're not doing this. You were the one who made anything between you two impossible, so stop feeling sorry for yourself.

"Well, not advice, so much as approval. I know you're one of his best friends, so I thought you should know." If Sharon had asked for the moon Natasha would've found that easier to give her. It was one thing to tell Steve to ask Sharon out (because Natasha couldn't stand the idea of him being alone), but it was another thing entirely to stand there and here this woman flaunt her victory in Natasha's face.

"What do you need my approval for? I'm his friend, not his babysitter. And anyway, he's gone, so who cares?" Damnit. That came out far too harsh. She almost enjoyed it, seeing Sharon stiffen indignantly at her rudeness. But that wasn't fair of her, so she amended her statement. "Look. As long as Steve's happy, so am I."

Sharon didn't look convinced (she wasn't an idiot, after all), but she let it be. They went back to talking about politics.

And Natasha tried very hard not to picture Steve kissing Sharon.

Unfortunately, she didn't succeed, and therefore spent the next half hour trying to hide the fact that she desperately wanted to be anywhere but there.

The worst of it was, she couldn't even blame Sharon. Not really. She couldn't even justify her own anger without admitting the one thing she couldn't, wouldn't let herself: how she actually felt about Steve. So she nodded and smiled and ignored the helpless rage and lonely disappointment because after all, Sharon Carter certainly deserved Steve Rogers more than an ex-Soviet monster ever could.