My safe place - Billie Eilish [Eng]

My world

During Xanny was probably the best moment of the whole night. I started to sing and then they screamed "PERIOD!" after one line and even if I knew that would happen I had to laugh so bad and needed a good minute to get myself together. Then I shook my head laughing and started the song over.

At the very end someone on my team brought out a chair and I sat down. "So I have two more songs and then I am gonna go but before I go I wanna thank all of you for watching. Thank you guys so much for caring about me. Thank you guys for being here." I stopped for a little while. Then I introduced Andrew at the drums and of course Finneas behind the piano, thanked my whole team, my crew and my parents.

"Okay for this song the only thing I wanna say is ehm- that we all try to be really grateful that we're alive, that we're breathing and that we are here right now and that we are lucky enough to be here right now. Ehm so if you could I want you to grab somebodys hand, it doesn't matter who. Just grab that bitch and hold it, for real, come on. Just grab somebodys hand and hold this shit, okay? Doesn't matter if you know him or not." I smiled to all of them when they raised their connected hands.

"And I want us all to be happy that we are alive, okay? Can we do that?" Many 'Yeah' s going through the crowd. "That's all." I giggled. "Let's be in this moment alright? Even if it's a horrible moment, just be in this moment with me. It's the only moment you get, alright. Let's go." The lights dim a little bit and the song starts playing.

After this the last song started playing. I was sad but I performed it with the same energy that I had in the first song. The crowd goes wild. I go wild. It was perfect.

Bury a friend ended and a pout painted my face. Goodbye started and I see many people cry and screaming 'dont leave' along the lyrics. "I don't want to leave." I said honestly, still with a pout on my face. The screaming got louder. I looked behind me. Finneas already left, so did Andrew. "You know what?" I said smiling. A girl screamed 'What?' and made me laugh. "I am not gonna leave." I whispered in the mic and then I sat down on the stage. My arm reached for the water bottle on the edge of the stage and I drank a bit. I smiled. I love them all so much. They're my safe space. "Can y'all put the phones down?" surprisingly all phones in my view disappeared. "I love you guys." the screams get louder and i hear many 'I love you' s. "I guess they will beat me up if I am not getting off right now." I laugh. Taking the ear pods out of my ears I shush the voice that wants me to get off. I sighed.

"So now.. I don't know.. any questions? I wanna be with you guys." I said. I thought they would scream the questions but they all raised their arms and stood quiet. "Wow." confused that the mic doesn't work I said it again but still there were no sound.

"I guess they don't want us to interact but I don't give a fuck." I stood up and raised my voice so all - or a lot of them - could hear me. I pointed at a girl with a white Blohsh beanie. "Are you okay? Like do you feel good?" "Yes. Now I feel very good. I really needed this." I answered honestly. I pointed at a guy. "Which is your current favorite song?" I frown thoughtfully. "I listened a lot to Runaway by Aurora lately. So i guess this." I giggled. And so it goes on and on until Finneas came on stage.

"Bil you really need to get off the stage. They wanted you down right after but I said you need this and they should let you be here for a bit." I nodded my head. He scratched the back of his neck. "You're up here for almost one and half an hour." my mouth formed an 'O' shape and i nodded my head again. I really had to go now.

I turned around to the crowd. "I love you all but now I really have to go. I trust you all that this is our secret and nothing from this lands on the internet." I gave them a serious look, a few of them nodded. "I am happy that you all stayed and care about me. I really really love you. Please take care of yourself. I love you." I waved them bye and turned around with Finneas to go off stage.

"What were you thinking?" Someone shouted at me but I ignored them. I needed this and no one is gonna take this from me. They're my safe place.