Wicked Things We Crave

Chapter Eighteen

Jonah pushed the chair from the table and fled the building. He'd known the sun was still up, and would be for at least a few more hours, but the light still stung at his eyes before Jonah forced them closed and tried to suck in the fresh air. It felt like only fragments were entering his body. Jonah was hyperventilating and felt like he was about to pass out.

"What did you fuck up, Jonah?"

After wiping the sweat from his forehead, Jonah placed his hands on his knees and tried to slow his breathing, only to feel his body knocked to the ground.

"I need to know what the hell you did before I lose my fucking mind."

This wasn't meant to go this far. He was there to celebrate Astrid's birthday, try to have a good time with the guys before everything went to shit, and leave. Jonah just had to open his damn mouth.

The sound of a car door slamming in the distance caused Jonah to force his body off the ground. Everyone would arrive in the next few minutes, and none of them needed to see this shit.

"I'm not going to play this waiting game bullshit with you, man. You and I have been through too goddamn much for you to shut me out like this. Whatever you fucked up, we can fix it."

Jonah looked down at the gravel road and kicked it with the toe of his shoe, hearing familiar voices in the background. "It's Astrid's birthday. This isn't the time or the place."

"Something tells me there is no time or place that'll make this any easier," Scott mumbled. He took several steps toward him, then wrapped his large hand around his bicep, forcing him to remain in place. "We can fix it," he repeated.

Jonah shook his head. "It's already done, Scott, and there is no fixing it or going back. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to."

Fingers dug into his skin, but Jonah didn't flinch. "So it's something that you want or don't want to undo, and something you think I'm gonna hate you for."

The word 'hate' was never mentioned. Not to Scott. But they had danced around it enough times where all road signs seemed to point right at it.

More car doors, accompanied by prying eyes burning a hole through the back of Jonah's head. Scott looked as if he was about to beat the shit out of him, but barely had the energy to stand if you looked close enough. He was angry, yes, but also defeated.

"Dad, please!" Jonah heard Astrid cry out in the near distance.

He listened as the gravel crunched beneath quickened footsteps.

Scott's eyes strayed from his and looked passed his shoulder at the approaching steps. "Go inside, Astrid. This is between me and him."

Astrid appeared by his side, her normally sun-kissed skin looking paler than he'd ever seen it. "It's not like I was some unwilling victim. I'm just as much to blame as he is."

Jonah scrunched his eyes closed and willed time to reverse, to no avail. He knew exactly what they'd looked like; a man about to go to war with another weighed down too heavily by guilt to fight back.

The fingers digging into his arm loosened and Scott's arm fell to the side as he took a step back. "This is a joke," Scott said after a full-blown minute of silence passed. "You're joking."

Jonah finally opened his eyes to the scene surrounding them. A few of the guys dared to come closer, whether to watch the drama unfold from better seats and to pull Scott off of him once he got in the hits Jonah deserved.

Except Scott hadn't yet taken a swing at him. The quiet that passed confirmed it wasn't a joke, but he hadn't made a single move.

"I want to hear you say it," Scott demanded after receiving no response. "No excuses, no apologies. Just come out and say it. Admit what you fucking did."

There was no excuse why Jonah kissed Astrid. No excuse when she'd left him standing there after he'd more or less demanded it. No excuse why he'd said 'fuck it all' and chased after her once he realized she'd left the bar. All of that probably could have been forgiven, eventually.

But what transpired once he let himself into the house was beyond forgiveness. Jonah had been desperate to get close to her once he listened to Astrid blame herself for his own actions. He'd held her and inhaled her scent as if he needed her essence to breathe. What was worse, Jonah hadn't left the apartment when Anya called. There'd been so many outs that night he never took because he chose not to walk away. Not before it was too late, and not after.

Apologies were on the tip of his tongue, but Jonah swallowed them back. He was sorry for hurting his best friend of twenty-five years and even more sorry by just how much he'd betrayed him, but wouldn't take back a single action that caused his own remorse.

"If you're man enough to screw my daughter, be man enough to own up to it," Scott spoke in an eerily calm voice before the emotions lurking beneath it replaced the calmness. "Say it before I break your fucking jaw!"

"I slept with Astrid." Jonah's words were barely audible even to himself, he wasn't certain if he'd even said them aloud.

"You weren't at some fucking slumber party, Jonah. Say what really happened." Scott shoved Jonah with all his strength, causing the gravel to trail into his shirt and cut into his skin when he slammed against the ground.

Astrid rushed to his side once again, but Jonah held up his hand, telling her to stay put, and pushed himself up off the ground. "I had sex with her. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't high, and I wasn't confused. I've got no fucking excuses. I could have walked away before things went too far, and I didn't. I knew what the consequences were, and I did it anyway."

"And then you had the nerve to come into my house, drink my coffee and sit at my table. The house I let you stay at when you had nowhere else to go. The house you watched her grow up in."

"Yes," Jonah admitted through clenched teeth.

Scott closed the distance between them. "I should put you in the fucking emergency room, but truth is I don't want to be anywhere near you right now, or ever again. Looking at you and thinking about the two of you together makes me sick to my stomach. You aren't my business partner or my friend. You're a fucking virus. You're a worthless piece of shit who took advantage of my trust and loyalty. You are less than nothing to me."

When Scott stepped away from him, he could hear Astrid's quiet sobs. His best friend's eyes left his and didn't spare his daughter a single glance before he turned around and walked away.

Once he heard the truck start and gravel spit up beneath the tires, Jonah reached out and pulled Astrid against him. She broke in his arms as her sobs became relentless and deafening, and all Jonah could do was hold her up and hold her close. "It's okay, sweetheart."

"I thought you'd already told him."

"Doesn't matter," Jonah told her as he pet her hair. Scott was right. There was no good time and there was no good place for this. "It needed to happen."