broken n crazed - yg x bts

chapter 1: wнy?

Think, thoroughly about what I'm about to do. I hadn't cut in three moths...

after almost bleeding out.

but then my worry was cut short. The ultimate reason I grabbed this object returning.

do it

'no, no, no. I can't start again'

do it

Tears stared prickling my eyes.

I didn't want to start again.. but the evil thoughts.

DO IT!

I let out with a whimper .

ƉƠ ıɬ D̤̈Ö̤ ï̤T̤̈ DΩ IT [̲̅D̲̅][̲̅O̲̅] [̲̅i̲̅][̲̅T̲̅] ԀȎ IṬ ⒟⒪ ⒤⒯ D̾O̾ I̾T̾ ԺՕ ÍԵ D⃣O⃣ I⃣T⃣ DOྉiྉTྉD༙O༙ I༙T༙ D̶O̶ I̶T̶!

all the thought of how and why I simply hated my existence melted to together and I hated it.

I hated it.

I throw the razer blade across the room and pulled at my hair.

F̤̈Մ[̲̅C̲̅][̲̅K̲̅]I̾N⃣G D༙[̲̅O̲̅] I͙T᷉᷈! Y⃠O͞͞Ꮜ FU̬̤̯C⃒ƘΊภ[̲̅G̲̅] Թ[̲̅u̲̅]ⓈՏ[̲̅Y̲̅]!

I tried to comfort my self, doing my mental exercises while pulling my hair as hard as I can to ground my self.

the many thought blended together, make me go wild.

.

that's right

feel the pain

that's what you get for being a nuisance

you dumb fuck

They started get smaller and smaller, as I worked out my breathing and thinking of thing that would bring me back to reality.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

Once I knew for sure the episode was over I weakly stood up.

I look at the clock on my nightstand again seeing that it's 8:30. I sighed as I let myself lose control again.

I went to my bathrrom again and cleaned myself up. I put make up on my face down to my neck, as I didn't want anyone seeing the deep and dark bags under my eyes along with my bruises up and down my neck and face.

I finish up going to my closet, throwing on some black skinny jeans a fitted turtleneck, as I didn't wash my clothes and had nothing left then throwing on a leather jacket along with some clone and chain bracelets.

I don't know why I'm getting so dressed up. whatever.

I pack my books and sling my book bag over my shoulder. I walk out my run down apartment. this side of town is pretty rough. I never go out to late and always carry a pocket knife with me.

I only live her because my parents kicked me out after finding out I was gay. that's when bts took me in with open arms. but look where I am now.

I can't afford anywhere else.

I dread bumping into my old aquatinces  but I have no choice but to Finnish my studies and then be free.

If only the would happen

[⛓🍷]- ℒ.ℬ